I got fired/resigned!! just thought id let you all know. ok thats it im out

No more blogging for pablo.. *sniff*

"We are currently expecting high call volumes and are expecting lengthy delays.."



Hi! Today is shit. It's shit cuz im at work, waiting for the state debt recovery office to answer my call, but ooh, i'm now tenth in the queue! Waiting waiting... See, i got a train fine for not having a concession ticket and not having a concession card, so they're fining a 'Pablo Alvara' $150, but that's not me, in fact, i don't know who the hell that is. I've never heard of a 'Pablo Alvara' and i don't know why i'm receiving his bills, so i'm getting that sorted out. Ooh! I'm 6th in the queue now!...

This last couple of days have been allright, work is really shit again, but i went up to Katoomba to meet Rachel on tuesday to discuss our Melbourne trip and stuff, I was also meant to meet up with her friend Ben who promised me a blowjob when i got there but he wasn't there and i felt ripped off (third in the queue!) but yeah we just stayed up talking about life and how we don't do anything but that's better than doing something that turns out negative anyway. (Any positive action in an anticiviilzation will still end up negative, regardless of the intent). And umm, yeah we watched a movie called 'Waking Life' which Eilish had recommended to me for agoes, and oh my god, it was the best movie! It was like custom made for Rachel & I, thoroughly enjoyable, heaps stylistic, and so well put together. Go out and hire it! NOW!

Fuck, i got through, they have my name on file, i owe them $400, fuck, that's so fucking wrong, it's not just wrong, it's evil, and there's nothing i can do about it..because i didnt have a concession card. They're stealing from the poor to fill their quota. There's proof that this place is FUCKED. ARGH. As if i can afford that?! Bastards. Maybe i'll become a drug dealer to raise the funds. Fuck i hate this shit.

So, now that i'm in a bad mood, i gotta call austin to see if he's gonna come to Sublime this friday.

Umm, yeah anyway i went to buy my stupid amp and i didnt get it because there was only a few to choose from and tho i liked the look of one, i was told not to get it and shop around so i still dont have an amp. gay.

Allan is moving out of the house to do his study, im going travelling but gonna stay, Kovax is moving in and we're gonna change the lease to Kovax and Kansas. I've gotta figure out how to get to melbourne and im about to meet with the human resources lady to see if i get fired or passed my probation. Either way is good, cuz if i pass i'll quit. I HATE MY JOB. Which is crazy cuz i use to love it. But i'm a robot now, i was reading somewhere that if your brain becomes used to routine and automatic reaction it begins to rot (not their words), well all i do here is routine. no wonder im no longer creative or inspired, because of this fucking shit job. I hate it and i hope i get fired because that way i can get on centrelink quicker.

Ok, yeah, i wanna see lord of the rings 3, maybe ill go tonite with richards? who knows. Probably not.

Yeah, Bye.

Nnnngggh...



Ahh.. today is one of those completely fucked days where im just shit at everything.

Fuck, you know what's fucked, it takes like 20 minutes for 7 minutes to pass while im working, but when im on lunch it takes like 3 minutes for those 7 minutes to pass. That's so gay, and such a rip off too..

Ok, so i've got some shit to say, which is..

Stixx : Hey man, I havent been avoiding your calls, its that you called while ive been at work, call me in the arvo if you want to talk, as for me, you're cool, i dont have anything against you at all, we can be friends just like always, the only difference is the band and thats it. But yeah, i guess its up to you if you still wanna hang.

Jeff : I told you your time would come (Jeff got dumped), we told you not to go on hollidays with her, but noooo you don't listen. Well look, she was shit anyway, you're much cooler, all trin does is whinge and crap and she was a shitty girlfriend who didnt even put out properly i hear.

Everyone else : Hi!!

---

Last night i went to a graveyard, it wasn't fun, or exciting, but at least i get to say last night i went to a graveyard. Easton came over, he smells REALLY bad, but it's cool, he taught me a mad piano scale. Anyway he stole a big rock from the graveyards church and threw it in a river or something, he said they were aboriginal rocks and had to be freed. Im down with that.

On the weekend I went to the mountains to hang with Rachel, and she was telling me all excitedly about her ticket to go see Ani Difrance and she got it out to show me and realized that it was that night. She was pretty upset, and rightly so, but it's so something i would do too. Rachel is shit, she fucks everything up, thats her words, im shit too, i fuck everything up. What are we gonna do to stop fucking shit up?! Do we like.. have to actually *do* stuff.. That's such a hassle. Life is shit sometimes, but tomorrow it will be good! Because i don't have work & i'm going to buy my quad with Greg & Clay and i'm also getting the files so we can finish the cd and stuff! Woo.

Get this for weird..



Here's something Jeff and I discovered last night which we found a bit of a shock!

Turn any of these biblical words into their numerical equivalent, so that A=1, B=2 etc..

I've done this for you but you can re-do it to make sure..

JESUS ( 10+5+19+21+19 )

MESSIAH ( 13+5+19+19+9+1+8 )

LUCIFER ( 12+21+3+9+6+5+18 )

GOSPEL ( 12+15+19+16+12 ) *Comments

PREACHER ( 16+18+5+1+3+8+5+18 )

And multiply the result by 9...

---

On other news, I barely slept last night and i'm at work and it's a saturday, which as we all know by now, I actually like.
I barely slept because we stayed up watching a crappy Leonardo DiCaprio movie called 'The Basketball Diaries" and getting smashed (It was just Jeff & I, we bonded) and then i couldn't get to sleep cuz it was too hot.
Well, I almost got to sleep but my radio started going "Pablo, the beat's right here, Pablo, the beat's right here, Pablo, the beat's right here", and at first i thought i was crazy or making it up, but i had to make sure, so i woke myself up to make sure, and there it was, it just repeated that line like 50 times and spun the fuck out of me. Then i went back to sleep and got woken up by Al, Austin and Kansas who got back from the city and they made heaps of noise and shit... so i went to try to fall asleep again, and i could hear a cockroach walking around somewhere in my room and that kept me up too. Eventually i fell asleep, but i didnt get much of it.

In keeping with our race talk.

SO! HI! Who's this?! Yeah? really? got any money? good. Give it to me.

Im ok at the moment, wasting my lunch updating my blog when i should be doing something constructive, like eating food, but you know...
Umm, so to keep track of my life and where it's going, i'll put this update up.. Ok, work is the same, but a bit better, im the same but a bit better, im a bit more inspired and i'm looking forward to getting some gear so i can jam again. Should be doing that next wednesday. Im also buying the pornwagon sometime soon and going to Melbourne in a month. I've gotta figure out if i wanna drive up or catch a plane.. driving up would be cool but so would a plane, i just dont want to wreck the pornwagon. So richards, let me know what the wise choice here would be..

Also, er, i wanna learn how to play drums, i've been into that, so im gonna start practicing after work, and yeah that should be good, i have work tomorrow! And i worked last saturday too! Far out! I work heaps, i hope my work notices. Instead of resigning im gonna talk to the lady who looks after that stuff and see if she'll let me take some time off to go to Melbourne but make it so i can have a job when i get back, tho i doubt it.. it's weird, cuz i do try, and i do a good job, but at the same time i suck heaps. Ah well we'll see.

Question : Should i make a website where it has all my e-mail correspondence on it? That would be fun? what do YOU think?

P.S - I added some links! To the right! Go to them!! And check out 'an unkempt aardvark' and 'my stuff to read' for all your conspiracy needs!

Some of my best friends are racist.



I've recently found out that some of my best friends are racist and that's really shit.

Tho I can understand why prejudices happen, or why you would have particular feelings to particular races due to past events, I can't understand how someone, that I associate with, with intelligence, who isn't even from this country, could be prejudiced towards a whole race, and not understand the basic concept that..

WE ARE ALL HUMAN BEINGS

The worst thing is that I dont know how to relate to this person anymore, because, the way i see it, they're full of shit.

You can talk about the world being fucked, and about wanting to fix this or do that or whatever, but if you're willing to label a whole race due to the actions of some, then you're just as bad as an ignorant hick in Texas or an oil baron or a whale killer.

Dont ever talk to me about injustice in the world, because your arguments hold no ground with me any longer.

Hipocrisy and double standards, fuck em.

Don't get me wrong, i think racism is great fun, its very fun to make fun of minorities, however, to mean it, and to really have prejudices and say "i hate that race" is not cool.

My views on you have changed and now your word means much less to me, sorry.

I've had bad experiences with cops, heaps of them, but i still give every cop the benefit of the doubt.

I try to avoid them, im wary of them, i think most of them are probably assholes.

BUT I KNOW THEY'RE NOT ALL ASHOLES, THAT THERE'S GOOD ONES IN THERE, AND THAT THEY'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS.

You're not cool, or special, for having dumbass ignorant views, it doesn't give you anymore identity, it just makes you a hypocrit.

You know who you are.. don't let me catch you playing or wearing Rancid stuff, or Pennywise either, they'd probably bash you.

(Still love ya man, you're just dumb)

I think this is a bit suss, the protests seemed too well organized.

There may be a lot to this story. Who knows? (It says "Wanted, Child Murderers")

this picture hasnt got anything to do with anything i just put it up.

Ok, soo, before i forget, on the weekend i..

Worked on Saturday! working on satruday is great, the atmosphere is so different, i actually enjoy it.

Then, went to cases/megans party and i got heaps drunk and threw up and passed out. Which is exactly what i planned to do. So im quite happy with my efforts. Good party, a few weird vibes but good nonetheless. The only bit that sucked was zoe asking me if i was still angry at her while i was on the grass out the front throwing up. I was freaking out enough that she was talking to me, but then to get aksed that, just sucks, i was like "im jussht scchdrunk". Now im not still angry. Im never really angry. But i am stil hurt, and i cant see her or case the same as they were before. It's like i see them through this different filter. But i still love em, and i know they were part of my life to help me grow and all that shit. Umm.. the point here is... there isn't one. Im just talking shit.

Ok, so the next day, we went to the beach, Richards, Austin & I, which was pretty good, the water was very welcoming but there was lots of seaweed (honestly, who gives a fuck about this shit?) and then we went home and Rachel came over with her friend Ben and we started planning what sort of stuff we can do to like 'save the world' and we came up with some really cool ideas.

She also told me about a 17 year old kid who got impaled into a fence after being chased by cops at Redfern, and the cops are now denying involvement. Well that was interesting cuz id read about that earler and thought it was a bit full on.
This morning its in the front page of the newspaper It was..

"Up to 60 police officers in riot gear, seven fire engines, 15 police cars and two ambulances converged on the Lawson Street block from Regent Street to Abercrombie Street.

The death of 17-year-old Thomas Hickey on Saturday was the trigger that reignited simmering Aboriginal anger over policing in the area.

Thomas, TJ to those who knew him, died in hospital early yesterday morning from neck and chest injuries after being impaled on a fence while cycling home on Phillip Street. His family claims he was being chased by police when the accident happened, a charge the police reject."

Soo. I wrote about it on Bombshell, (link on right) and got into a huge argument but wow, it went all day and my post got over 1600 views! which is pretty good i reckon, lots of viewpoints and ideas, and they're all valid.

I believe this was a trigger of some sort. I think the whole thing smells really off..

So yeah, that's that. Everything else is cool, i feel weird, like i've started life again, sort of like with a clean slate, i guess its cuz i cut off 4 years worth of hair. But it's cool.

We visited Kingswood high yesterday and looked at all our old graffiti and stuff too. A good one was "No quote, no motto, just be", hehe i thought that was great. I think a cool thing to graffiti, instead of "Smash racism", what about "Everyone's Cool" or "Businessmen rule" or just silly shit like that. Cuz pfft, what's "Smash racism" going to do? .. people are dumb. (like me!)

And.. yesss.. thazit. Have a good one reader.

"Hair pretty much grows at a maximum rate of half an inch per month no matter what you do. "

Now im really depressed. I can't believe this has happenned.

I feel like i've gona back in time, or like i'm not me anymore.. see, my personality is a product of my hair, not the other way around, and now im all out of whack. I have nothing to reference myself too. Everyone's gonna make fun of it.
Im not me anymore.

This is crazy... and there's no way of fixing it. I don't know what to do.

Rachel said "The closest thing i can liken it to, is completely fucking my life up".

It's true! It's like i've broken my life. First with Stixx & now with my hair.

HELP!!!! PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!! I BEG YOU!!

I can think of only a couple of solutions :

A) I move to another state.

B) I get drunk every day.

C) I take ecstasy every day.

or..

D) I kill myself. (I'd have to kill my mum and brother too, cuz i dont want to make them sad)

Fuck everything.

This job sucks so much, ive been feeling so shit for so long, im fully not happy it sucks. But then i go home and im happy again and then i think im being a dick for being depressed now. It's weird..

Anyways, i'll write the news and then i'll get on with the bitch..

* Stixx is out of the band. We think it's for good. Basically, as soon as he tried to make off with his full cd without making the miniscule payment of $20, we all realized that he could not be trusted, he lost our respect, and due to that we decided we couldnt be in a band with someone we can't trust and respect.

Stixx man, you got given chance after chance after cahnce, and at the end of the day, we didn't even fire you, you said "Fuck the band, i quit the fucking band." Sorry dude. We accept your resignation.

We'll see whether we are as you said "nothing without you".

What a FUCK UP! Huh?! It's one dilemma after the other with us, but hopefully this will make things easier.
We're going to have to go back and re-do all the vocals and shit, which is a bit of a nightmare in itself, but we'll get it sorted eventually. Might as well go through the shit now than later.

Sooo... that's all fucked, we gotta get the music tracks, figure out new vocals, and then re-record them. Then we gotta figure out how to perform it.

Apart from the band, there is also the fact that I CUT MY HAIR!!!.

Wow! I still can't believe it and i'm having a lot of trouble dealing with it. Basically the plaits/dredds/hair nuggets, got so bad that they were never coming undone, so we had to cut em, Shariff made me do it, you can read his report on 'All my friends are crap".

So, im thinking, since Stixx is out, and i cut my hair, i might as well quit my job and go the whole trifecta. Supposedly the trifecta has big wins, but it's a big risk. See, i need money, i gotta pay shitty rent, and food, and transport, but on top of that i need an amp, a guitar, a car, and money for printing pressing of the cd (plus more money now to fix the vocals) so it really sucks.

Yesterday i was in a megashit mood, and i am today too, my company is EVIL. There are soo many people resigning at the moment here, they've all had enough. There's just a really shit vibe now, and when im here, i cant think straight, my eyes are watery and all life feels hopeless.

Ive been feeling as i said, heaps shit lately, kinda uncreative, uninspired, not cool, umm depressed, overwhelmed, hopeless. I just want to quit everything sometimes, quit my job, my house my friends. But i know that's not the way to go, escaping doesn't do shit.

I just need to get a grip on my life again.

I found a killer site to help do this, it's called "Build Freedom" and it's loaded with brilliant articles. This site is HUGE. It depresses me that i dont have a computer and i cant read it all. But i will print some shit out.

I need to be more of a freedom fighter, liquid chalk is a great tool, it fucks with nothing but minds, but i need to do more than that. My problem is that, i want people to go "What is this about?" and get into this shit, but i know that they need to want it, and if they want it, it doesnt matter what i tell em, because they would go seek it out anyway, so like, making people aware is a waste of time because those that want to be aware will become so anywa? or do we need to shake shit up so people see there is alternatives? It must be both. Anyway, i cant speak, im hardcore in a mental prison at the moment that i need to break out of. I need to be straight up about shit more. Like Jason, he came over and he's like "is it allright that im over" (Cuz he'd shot up in my bathroom a few months back) and i was like "yeah whatever", and then the cunt starts coming over 24/7! so i had to tell him to nicely fuck off. He can get his own fucking house. Sheesh.

No one reads my blog anymore, that's good, i suppose, cuz i can be more personal, but shit cuz i have nothing to check up on. As if anyone cares about my life other than me anyway? If this was a funny blog it would be a different story.. well it is kinda funny.. sometimes. is it?

So yeah, what else? umm im fucking hating my job, AAAGGH. See i dont know that if i live i'll be able to do the things i want to do, but i know staying here is fucking me up, some people can handle 9 to 5 and some cant, i cant, i fully cant. Well actually, i can, if there's freedom, but i have no freedom anymore. Constant phone calls mean i dont have time to surf the net or do things and shit. It heaps sucks. And customers are the dumbest of cunts. The whole bloody planet is stupid. And there are a few who arent so dumb and they're laughing so hard at all our faces.

Yesterday on the newspaper, no joke, this was the headline "Secret Societies Spread Chaos" and then the article was about the train drivers. That headline was a trigger. I use to think triggers were bullshit till i started seeing them.

There was 3 i could recognize in yesterdays newspaper. Janet Jacksons top coming off was a trigger. It was a set up and approvad by those high up, just like the madonna/britney kiss. It is gradual and will continue and this world is going to go NUTS. It's true. I hope its not, but i see it all the time. then again, i am looking for it. But nah, its too blatant. Morals are getting turned upside down, people are standing up for what they dont believe in because they dont understand. It's shit.

Aaanyway, im running out of time, this is my lunch break and i need to pay the rent and electricity and call around and get a bunch of meaningless life shit sorted.

OUT.

If only we were in California.. then we could buy 'Clamato'!

Fuck!! I worked so much today! I've taken 90 calls, folded and mailed over 100 letters, wrote an essay on my call centre for my Certificate III.. bloody bludged too!

Ahhh... sooooo a quick update on life.. umm i've got a whole ecosystem growing on my head, tonight im going to Jeff's & Panthers to turn it into an epidemic.

The studio has been shut down, because Clay didn't pay the rent, 3 songs still need to be mixed so we're doing them on the weekend. I think ouor band is cursed, everything we do, breaks. (Skatefest, Panthers, Studio).

Here's some fun bits and pieces followed by a serious piece, just for you.

A poem by Rachel:

"Song for Pablo.
I'm kinda over havin knits.
They're given me the shits.
Itching, bitching, moaning, critters in my hair,
Residential re-zoning, daycare.
KNITS- I got a complex civilization on my cranium.
KNITS- they wear fuex fur jackets to the football stadium.
KNITS- they got dogma, credit cards, Telecom, failmarks,
eurodollars and movie stars,
KNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
(she's gone again by the way)

A not funny joke:

What did the farmer say when he found that one of his cows was standing on the roof of the barn?

"Get down".

Another one :

Q: How many surrealist painters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: A fish

http://grouphug.us<--- GO!

Stickers are doing well, they're heaps nice. I might be buying the pornwagon. ....

I work with this chick that is SOOO hot, in the classiest way too. Ah she's so hot. When she walks past me, i have to work hard not to look. I'm sure she knows i think she's hot. She knows everyone thinks she's hot. She's so hot. Ohhh.

Umm.. yeah and here's the serious bit..

A)Our train system completely fucked up yesterday because of a 'gas leak', every train was stopped and it took hours to go home, people were going crazy and there was cops everywhere. the 'gas leak' IS A LIE.
It may have happenned, but it was set up. They are testing public reaction. They are fucking with us. They are gradually making us lose faith in public/transport systems, they will charge more and have less trains.
This serves many purposes, it will a)make money, b)increase pressure to privatize c)make us feel small.
It is a weird feeling when you're in parra and you realize your whole life depends on this system. Trust me, they are fucking with us, this sorta shit is gonna continue to happen and it will get worse.

B)Why do you think Bush, Blair and Howard have admitted their intelligence was faulty and have launched an independent enquiry? The 'independent' enquiry will find that the weapons are in Syria and Iran, and it will be true because it's 'independent'. Pfft.

C)We need to stop looking at the news as daily, and see them as an unfolding of events. Step back a bit and you can blatantly see the plans. It's all connected. All of it. You don't have to care, but be aware that it's all bullshit or you'll fall into their game.

IM OUT!

This image disturbs me.

1. Im at work, that sucks, but im planning on quitting. I made my mind up yesterday when there was just no way I was coming to work and realized I didnt need to work if I didnt want to, which I dont, so I wont, so I should be quitting within the next month and a half and then going to melbourne for a bit, and hopefully I'll get an amp this weekend, and I lost my guitar, probably on the train, and thats fucked, it really shits me... The weekend was allright, Budge came over and hung out with us on saturday night and played warcraft two, and on sunday we went to a beach and it was really good, the waves were so cool and the water so nice.