This entry is the same as part of 'All my friends are crap' it saves time this way..

I bought a kimono yesterday! we all did (ben, rachel & i) to treck through the desert with! rach & i also wrote a busking song, it goes like this..

"I hate my life and i want to die but im too scared to kill myself so im stuck here in limbo with you, why oh why did it have to be you, why oh why did it have to be you, i wish i had the guts to kill you too..

Chorus = Gimme all your money cuz i might just snap, gimme all your money cuz im going insane, gimme all your money cuz i might just snap and kill you all. And tell me what's going to stop me from bludgeoning you to death with this guitar right now? It's gonna take the cops at least 5 minutes to get here and thats plenty of time for me to find, your wallet, your i.d, credit cards and pictures of your children.

I hate my life and i want to die, and mark my words if i kill myself im gonna take out a whole buch of you motherfuckers with me, cuz im not going out just like that, im gonna make a statement and i dont care what it states.

*Chorus*

And if you dont think im scary, just listen to this riff it goes.. *scary riff*

So dont fuck with me, just give me your money, dont fuck with me, gimme all your money.

*Chorus*

Optimus prime was the head of transformer squad, but i killed him."

It hasnt made us any money yet.

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The Melbourne Couch Review Guide..



Couch 1 : This is the couch we're staying at, it divides into 5 different segments and is not too comfortable to sit on. The environment however more than makes up for it, there is a large bookshelf directly next to it with a number of interesting books, by authors such as 'Aldous Huxley' & 'George Orwell' as well as many on herbal remedies.
There is a small coffee table where we sit our tea/coffee on, and it has a few candles on it etc. The house is small and the atmosphere is comfortable. Unfortunately we can't smoke inside. Which means no bongs on the couch. (3/5 stars)

Couch 2 (Ali's Couch) : Ali is a dude i met in Byron and he's very cool and friendly. His couch is large and comfortable, it is kind of like the couch inside the bottle of 'I dream of Jeanie'. It is in an L shape, with a coffee table in the middle, on which sits a large home made bong (great smoke) and there is usually a bowl too. The atmosphere is welcoming, and Ali lives with a very hot girl called 'Al' who often wears very short skirts. He also lives with a guy called 'Grant' who's a cool canadian guy that makes jewellry. Al is extremely friendly and a great perve, and they also have a beautiful 3 month old pup called 'Ali-Coco', she is fun to watch. She can sit & hi-5. (4/5 stars)

Couch 3 (Smackies Couch) : This is the couch of a smackies house i got stoned at, the smackie was very courteous and offered me some water as well as a cheap phone and a Harley. His name is Jay and he lives with a guy called Adam, who he treats like shit, but it was funny to watch because Adam was a bit of a dork and let himself get trated like shit. It wasn't actually a couch, it was a bed. I got some cones and the cat (they have a cat) had a fine fur coat that was fun to pat. (2/5 stars)

Couch 4 (Nathans Couch) : I actually passed out on this couch cuz i was sick, it was outside and i was given a large blanket to cover myself in. Nathan is one of Jets friend and he thinks it's great fun to cum in a girls mouth and have her kiss another guy and watch the other guy swallow it. He made us some stir fry and it was ok except i couldn't chew on it so i had to throw it into my throat and try to swallow. I got some red wine also. The wine was good and for that i'll give the couch an extra star. (3/5 stars)

Couch 5 (Anthony's Couch) : This one was actually in Canberra, but i thought i'd throw it in. Anthony is a political intellectualist and because of this his couch was littered with 'Nietzche' & 'Marx/Lenin' style books as well as a lot of surrealism. The atmosphere was calm but stubborn. There was nice hommus dip but we provded that. I guess the best bit about this couch were the zines scattered throughout, on how to steal food, make bombs, travel cheap, home abortions and all sorts of fucked up shit. I also got a big bed to sleep on and you can't go wrong with that! (3.5/5 stars)

Rachel is currently working on a party review guide and this will be up on her blog soon, these are great in providing free: food, beer (imported & coopers), banana hash cake, joints, rides etc..

Melbourne is shit.



Not really, actually Melbourne is pretty cool. We're staying in Fitzroy, it's like a big Newtown except with trams everywhere (there's trams EVERYWHERE! It's great!) and a few junkies. Shops stay open late and on Saturday nights and there's a bit of a scene with bands playing and shit (Baggsmen are playing next Friday and im goin to watch em!). The people seem pretty cool. Heaps of nice bread shops (marzipan!!) and heaps of juice bars too.. Actually it's like Byron/Newtown but without the backpackers or the beach dudes. We've just been hanging out and sneaking into parties and that, yesterday Jet and Ben went to a hip hop night and i went and got stoned and watched 'Half Baked' and it was cool but i wish i'd gone to see the hip hop. 3 days ago we snuck into Monney's 21st (we dont know Monney) and drunk her beer, there was 'Sublime' playing too which was cool, and after we got trashed we went to watch a sick ska band that had a bit of latin in it and stuff. We also got into a club for free because Ben made friends with Joy who is organizing a party there this week (and we're supposed to make some mannequins for it somehow) which meant free bourbons and coke. But i was fucked from hash cake that i'd eaten at another party we'd snuck into (which had this 2 guys playing the shittiest music ever and pretending it was 'art', they were probably from uni) so i kept on falling asleep and almost got kicked out. So Jet and I went back home and Jet had forgotten her keys so we had to break in through the fly screen and when Pixie the owner gets back she's probably going to hate us forever.

Oh, another thing, on my plane flight here, i found a book called "Killing Pablo" at one of the internet terminals i used, then when i got in i ran into 'Ali' from Byron which was a total spin out. I told him i found the book and he told me he's just watched "Killing Zoe" which was funny.

Centrelink are running 2 investigations on me. That's fucked..

Oh and i met a guy who reckons alien hybrids are chasing him and that he's got fibreoptics in his brains so they can see what he sees and that i am now being tracked by talking to him (cuz they can hear what he says through implants in his teeth), oh and his mum was a clone and one time he got abducted and they gave him drugs to get a boner and have sex with a goddess angel... He was funny.

Fuck, I just remembered why I hate Penrith so much...

Centrelink totally sucks, it has the worst vibe in there, the plaza is full of drongos, the library is shit with little dickhead babies crying all the time, their computers don't work properly, bus drivers are assholes. ARGH!

But even worse! The're destroying the Mondo!! ALL of the grassy area is getting developed on! ALL OF IT! There's fence all around every bit of grass near the plaza/library and they're turning it into more joan sutherland centre. It's fucking horrible and i'm really upset about it, kinda like my hair.

I'm still to figure out when im going to Melbourne.. organizing shit is a pain in the ass..

The joys of unemployment..



Wow! It's so great to not be employed! I am currently unemployed and not on centrelink so im not even a *blip* in the system, i've got no assets and no debts.. its great!

So all you suckers have to read this from work and i don't, at the moment i'm in an internet cafe in the city drinking a milkshake and trying to perve on a sexy chick sitting across from me. This is what i have dreamt of for months..

So, what's happenned i hear you ask?! Wellity wellity well, on the day i got fired, which was actually pretty funny, because i went to my boss Roger and told him i needed to talk to him and he's like "we need to talk to you too" and then we both realized we wanted the same thing and laughed about it, and then he told me to get out.
Well yes, on that day, i felt great, and went home and chilled and then the next day i cleaned up the whole house and we went to to the real estate to sort out our shit and Al's mum took us to Chili's and we got tipsy on their margaritas and had a big talk about vegetables (turns out al's mum and brother don't eat vegetables either, so it's a hereditary thing and he now has an excuse) and yeah, that was nice.

Some other stuff happenned.. ummm on the weekend Austin brought Alex and Eliza over and that was cool too but i passed out heaps early, but then i woke up again and just stayed up chilling and shit, and the next day was just a great lazy sunday where we sat around and didnt do much of anything, i really enjoyed it.

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Yesterday! which was Monday, i went and saw the B52's!!!!and Lotr 3 as well!
I had to go by myself because no one would go with me and it was really good, the gig was excellent, i went wearing trin's glasses that i stole from jeff and everyone at the gig liked them, and i made friends with 2 gay guys who shouted me beers and joints, so that rocked too, and the b52's were great! The girls are getting a bit old, but fred schneider is completely fred schnieder, he was dancing around and shit, it was ace, plus they played heaps of songs from 'Cosmic Thing' which is one of my favourite albums ever, from what i remember they played "Private Idaho", "Channel Z" "Roam", "Love Shack", "Rock Lobster", "Junebug", "Bushfire" & more! I was singing so much, yeah.. it was ace. I give it 4/5 stars only because they could have had more go-go dancing.

And that's it for today! What other adventures does unemployment hold? This, we are still to see..

But until then.. Feed your pets, keep away from dark men in overalls, and never, ever, allow yourself to be sacrificed in the name of a lesser daemon. (unless that daemon likes the B52's).

Ciao!!

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Conclusive proof that Bush is conspiring with a reptillian race to take over the world. (Thanks goes to Richards for your awesome detective work)

And watch this!!

http://www.deviantart.com/view/5142652/

http://www.deviantart.com/view/5143991/

http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/mariosbrothers3.html