Windows Vista Ultimate! Ultimate power! Ultimate wait!

That's 98.2 years to shuffle 463 mb! It would be quicker to write down the binary code.

Correctual Englishness Is Imperlatory For Prolificial Functuation

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
4. Employ the vernacular.
5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
7. Remember to never split an infinitive.
8. Contractions aren't necessary.
9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
10. One should never generalize.
11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know."
12. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
13. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's
highly superfluous.
14. Be more or less specific.
15. Understatement is always best.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be avoided.
19. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
21. Who needs rhetorical questions?
22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
23. Don't never use a double negation.
24. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
25. Do not put statements in the negative form.
26. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
27. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
28. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal
of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
29. A writer must not shift your point of view.
30. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
(Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word
to end a sentence with.)
31. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
32. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences,
as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
33. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
34. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
35. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
36. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
37. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun
with singular nouns in their writing.
38. Always pick on the correct idiom.
39. The adverb always follows the verb.
40. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague;
They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.

Here it is, the Mexican Robot Pinata Battle from my birthday!



I killed it good.

Today I started Job Search Training. It's kind of like heading into jail for two hours every morning, up some concrete steps, through a small hallway & into a sterile neon lit room with uncomfortable grey plastic chairs. It's still better than a soul freeze office job tho. They teach us basic things that we will never master, like punctuality and manners.

This is how it went;

It's my first day so I have to introduce myself to the other unemployederinos,

'Just see if you can tell us your name', the trainer asks.
I struggle, 'nahhh..' I look around 'Umm.. OH! My name is Pablo!',
'Great!' I passed.
'And do you have any hobbies Pablo?',
'Uhh.. I like to write..' I begin scribbling into a notebook,
'Great! So today's class is about decisions and practicing positive decision making! Now, we all make decisions everyday, sometimes we make bad decisions, how about you Pablo? Have you ever made any bad decisions? Do you have any regrets?'

What do I say? I could speak of the time I spent three years in a couch smoking pot and playing Sega, or the time I left my brand new red electric guitar on the train, or mention howI left a rat trap in the kitchen with the door opened which gruesomely killed our favorite pigeon, or maybe about the time I didn't wear a.. oh I give up! 'No'...

'Great!, Ok so what about decisions we make every day? How about you?..' He looks at the big bespectacled Kazakh in the corner,
'Did you have breakfast today?' *groan*
'Yes, I had it today' The Kazakh answers in a strong accent.
'Do you have breakfast everyday?'
'Yes, every day I have breakfast', the seriousness and eagerness of the Kazakhs answer amuses me.
'What did you have?' Jebus.. wtf..
'Yes, I had a vegetable pastie & tea'
'Do you have the same breakfast everyday?'
'Yes everyday it is what I eat for breakfast'
'Great!'..

AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!

I was so sure of things, full of zest and vociferous fire, ready to argue down anyone silly enough to interfere or interrupt my perfectly concocted and infallible thoughts. But in time my opinions started becoming distorted, what I hated I begun to enjoy, what I thought I'd never be... I had to make a choice, would I hate myself or accept that I wasn't so right at all? I chose the second, and life grew to accommodate many of my dislikes and hates, with this evolution I lost some of my definition, especially since mine had been built on a high horse. Soon I stopped telling my opinions to strangers and acquaintances, I couldnt be sure, they didnt care and I didn't care. 'Fuck them' I thought... even if I know tasty secrets, fuck them.

Let's increase, grow, expand, build, embiggen! our vocabulalory!

Introducing: http://wordie.org/

A website made of word loverinos getting together to discussiate language and make lists of words they'd prefer to more oftenly employ in their everyday elocutation.

My list is just starting, and I don't want to learn big obfuscative words simply for the arrogantiality they presumptiate. Rather practicalian words of communicational usery. Feel free to leave me a commentino or two with words you believerate would be funly to fammilitate myself with!

This is my list so far: http://wordie.org/lists/17304

(Frankenly speaking, I just want to inventirate my own words now)

Happy New Room Megs!

These are some mellow fresh atmospheric tracks to help fill the space!

500!

Huzzah! This is my 500th post! 500! I've been keeping this blog for FIVE YEARS. That's 100 posts per year. Or an average of 1.9 posts a week, which isn't too bad but could be a lot better. I've gone through..

5 Jobs.
7 Countries.
6 Houses.
3 Trips.
2 Girlfriends.
2 Breakdowns.
1 Band.
1 Ball Chair.
10 Crushes.
1 Godddaughter.
And 67 Fried Monkey Brains.

Judging from this I could definitely increase the number of bands and girlfriends. (It could be argued that the Ball Chair count is a bit low also). However that discussion is for another time.

Regardless, to mark this most auspicious and arbitrary number/post count I am going to celebrate by changing my ENTIRE LIFE.

This post is going to be marked by me EMPLOYING MYSELF.

Aware of my extreme inability to regulate my time and finish the things I want to do outside of a working environment. Aware that If I put but half the energy I've put into all the shit jobs I've had before into my actual life, and inspired by the following excellent flash animation - Time Management For Anarchists, As of tomorrow I am gainfully employed to Myself. The job pays $250 a week. 5 hours a day, 4 days a week. Structured by 2 hour blocks and a range of duties. From personal maintenance, project development and implementation, writing, editing, printing etc.

Unfortunately I've been culled into Job Search Training by my greedy and ultimately useless employment agency. Since I am still to find the times for this I cannot yet allocate exact working hours. But I digress.. Being work, it will be treated as such. With the seriousness, structure, reward and organization that comes from having a job. I might even motivate others to employ themselves!

So far this is what I've got.

5 hours a day.
7.30 am starts.
2 hours in the morning.
3 hours in the afternoon.
1 blog post a day.

Blog Structure -

Monday - Weekly catchup.
Tuesday - Interesting Link.
Wednesday - Rant/Writing/Thought/Whatnot.
Thursday - Playlist.
Friday - Poem/Picture.

Work -

Project Development - Zine/Music/Shirts
Design - Graf/Art/Prints
Musical Practice - Guitar
Songwriting
Recording
Website Building
Life Organization
Networking

Obviously this is super sketchy. I'm only just beginning to formulate the plan. However it's so crazy it MIGHT JUST WORK!

I need..

1 GOOD Moleskin Notepad - Dated and broken down into hours.
An alarm system.
Materials.

Additional..

1 Day off a week minimum.
No all nighters.
Some sort of reward/punishment structure.
Clear timesheets.
Yoga.
A day's outing with myself once a week, cultural based.
Early Starts, reclaim the mornings!
Cook a meal at least once a week.
Weekly contact to Mexico.

It sounds a bit heady huh. But I will do it. I've undertaken changes more major than this in my life.. over-night! It's simply a matter of choice.

Considering no girls like me at the moment, I have no clear direction, money and basically feel like total loser. I might as well begin to like ME and not think that I'm a loser unto myself. Productivity and business should help occupy those parts of my brain more accustumed to lying in the fetal position wallowing in self pity and loneliness.

If it wasn't for this useless jobsearch shit I'd be onto it right away. But for now I have to wait and see how my life is structured by the government before I can structure it myself. What a crazy world we live in.

Happiness Mix

Keeping with the theme, here's a pic of Stwart being a creep behind a dead dog.

• 2 Dead
• 198 To Go

I have blood on my hands
I killed a good friend of mine
I was in my room laughing
When I broke his spine

I Lifted him..
Looked at him..
Saw the glaze in his eyes..
Swallowed my cries
And wondered,

Will his ghost flutter..
As we miss him..
In our kitchen
In our yard?

Will his call carry..
As a whisper
In my memory
In the morning?

The wall looks so empty now
The yard so sad

He wanted to know us and with time he did
Our yard was his refuge, the place where he hid
But without knowing, I made his head crack
All because
I set
A goddamn rat trap.

We'll miss you Pigeto.

R.I.P

Grooveshark Rules

'Grooveshark' is amazing. It's the quickest and most extensive online jukebox out. The autoplay feature works and helps you discover new artists that are actually good and not completely generic (Last.FM im looking in your direction..). Not only that but you can share any songs with quickly made widgets/mixes. I highly recommend checking it out!

Here is my first. It's a playlist that has been geting high rotation in my room lately. Enjoi!

So.. after 6 Billion years, it's the new track from Guns'n'Roses!

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/download/146706-new-music-guns-n-roses-chinese-democracy-stream

Seriously I thought this would be the worst shit ever. But I actually didn't mind it at all. If the album is as good as this track I might actually illegally download it.

Here's some photos I took of Melbourne alley graffiti. The photos could be a lot better and there were dozens more pieces. The city is covered in it.

I believe that street art is a barometer for a cities mental health. Judging by the quality of Melbourne's graf scene, It's a very healthy city.

me: it annoys me that even now with this pseudo feminism and female equality, the subconscious expectation is still for the man to do all the work, chase, contact etc. Its like with animals, the male birds have the beautiful plumage and crest, the females are all plain looking, but its the man who has to stand on a tree and sing for 3 months straight so eventually one of these plain boring bird girls look his way. What gives them the right?! theyre plain and they dont do shit.

I love Robert Anton Wilson, It's such a shame that a mind as his has passed into the incomprehensible ether. He co-authored the Illuminatus Trilogy and helped create some of my favorite philosophies and ideals. From Discordianism, to The Church Of The Subgenius and the concept of Fnords. He wrote a million brilliant books and helped found the Maybe Logic Academy, under which I studied two years ago.

I've been hunting down this thought by him for a while and just found it, I thought I would share.

"I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions.

I strongly suspect that a world "external to," or at least independent of, my senses exists in some sense.

I also suspect that this world shows signs of intelligent design, and I suspect that such intelligence acts via feedback from all parts to all parts and without centralized sovereignity, like Internet; and that it does not function hierarchically, in the style an Oriental despotism, an American corporation or Christian theology..

I somewhat suspect that Theism and Atheism both fail to account for such decentralized intelligencce, rich in circular-causal feedback.

I more-than-half suspect that all "good" writing, or all prose and poetry that one wants to read more than once, proceeds from a kind of "alteration in consciousness," i.e. a kind of controlled schizophrenia. [Don't become alarmed -- I think good acting comes from the same place.]

I sometimes suspect that what Blake called Poetic Imagination expresses this exact thought in the language of his age, and that visits by"angels" and "gods" states it an even more archaic argot.

These suspicions have grown over 72 years, but as a rather slow and stupid fellow I do not have the chutzpah to proclaim any of them as certitudes. Give me another 72 years and maybe I'll arrive at firmer conclusions."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F1Lq1uFcAE

'Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but... there's no such thing as rights. They're imaginary. We made 'em up. Like the boogie man. Like Three Little Pigs, Pinocchio, Mother Goose, shit like that. Rights are an idea. They're just imaginary. They're a cute idea. Cute. But that's all. Cute...and fictional. But if you think you do have rights, let me ask you this, "where do they come from?" People say, "They come from God. They're God given rights." Awww fuck, here we go again...' - George Carlin

The outer shapes the inner.

Deed before creed.

Change your actions, then let your thoughts catch up.

- A.J Jacobs

Jesse bugged me last night for the yellow black freedom aboriginal shirt that austin gave me for my birthday. He really, really wants it.

"Come on man! $50! I'll give you $50 smackeroos, come on.. ok $100!".

I thought about.. "Jesse, there's only one thing I will swap you for that shirt, and that's your Kurt Cobain signature Jagstein.." Shrewd.

"What?! NO! That's not fair! That's a bad deal, the guitar is worth heaps more!"

"You're right, it is, it's a terrible deal, you shouldn't take it" Shrewd.

"OHHH.... DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! OK how about we swap for the duration of my trip?"..

"Alright deal, BUT the shirt has to come back and in wearable condition, or the guitar becomes mine.." Shrewd.

"YOU'RE A BASTARD! DAMN YOU!..."

"....."

*Shakes* *Shakes*

"Deal?" "Deal.."

"Nice"

Shrewd.

'The collapse of power leads to waves of turbulence that cause a tense void, which leads to new awareness.' - Adamus 

Huzzah for collapsing economies.

Busco, busco un recipiente donde colocar el presente presente que traigo en la mano derecha y que el conyuge dice que llama
amor, amor ,amor...
o pasion, confusion o temor o una copa de vino o un ramo de flor o una carta
que diga cosas de la vida bonita en prosa
y acabe diciendo: Por siempre.

Te regalo mi primer amor..

Y antier por la noche entre estrellas de whisky, el cansancio de ambos se posa en las duras banquetas, me pareciste un frasco donde colocarlo por medio de besos, por medio de versos y besos...
Que te hago los dos con mi boca en forma de trompeta,
y que toca y que toca una nota en tu labio de abajo y las otras se me quedan en la punta de la lengua..

How did we let this happen!
Where were we?
Who pushed the buttons,
Who lifted the levers?
What was the name on his tag?..

We weren't like this,
so hard to reach.

We saw things,
They saw us.

Not taught, not written, not read.

But
Felt.
Seen.
Woven.

Feared.

Forgotten.

So

A mirror was made.
A vacuum re-filled.
A reminder to all.
Of the infinite cause,

and effect.

One.
To Two.
To Three.

And so on..

BANG

It was all just a joke!

Not very funny...

Stewart and I went with Ripley and Rachel to the Aquarium! It was a lot of fun, a lovely day and an adventure. Ripley was pretty cool for the whole trip, she was SO curious about the outside world, she didn't want to close her eyes or sleep for anything! She looked in wonder at the city, the trams and people passing her. Wow what a big world! Then she saw the fish and could not stop staring.



We saw flounder fish, tiger sharks, seahorses, turtles etc! Even Jellyfish!



It was lovely. In the city afterwards Ripley was smiling laughing and having lots of fun. We sat near a black bass player busker and ate some chips. Ripley finally flipped out on the Tram ride home. She was REALLY tired. Stewart and I had to get off and leave Rachel alone with her. I heard it was mildly traumatizing.



Stew and I had Bimbo's and Marina came along.

Marina is a girl i fell head over heels for at my birthday party. She's not really a girl. She's a woman.. and by being so into her I had actually created a monster out of her in my imagination.. by thinking about it too much. So when I saw her I was awkward, I'd put too much pressure on myself, and as the night went on I crumbled. It wasn't so bad. We went to the city to see a gig but missed it. But I didn't know what to say at times and just made dumb comments.

I'm probably being over critical.. The good thing is that I can now look at the situation objectively and see that I was way too much into her.. but with good reason, she had come at such an opportune time and there was so much magic around the situation.. but I guess you can't always trust the signs. Also she's leaving the country soon. Ouch. This is the fourth girl I fall for who has to leave the country soon. Yet I fall for them before knowing that. What the hell is going on?!

My Dad stayed for a week, It was actually not as weird as i thought it would be. He did his thing and I did mine. He's probably seen more of Melbourne than I ever will! We had A1 together and hung out a couple of nights watching shows on the internet. I took it relatively easy during this period, visiting Steves new house.



On Thursday I went to a Burlesque show that Pixie thre at the old bar, its called Kiss or Kill, I played darts with Jesse which was fun. Pixie dressed as Slash and Stewart as a nurse. He had to revive her/him (Slash) and give him a pretend Blowjob. Steve came out and performed a song about working abs, then got naked on his last song. I gave him a wig to cover up.





There was one woman who was amazing, she had such an aura, she balanced candles from all her appendages.

September Memories.

Awesome stuff last month -

Megs's treasure hunt at Rachel and Louis house, we gave her a clarinet!! The robot dance battle between stewart and jesse in our room on the night of Megs's Bday, Dancing with Jess, Stewart and Goon boxes then getting on our knees and pourig into each others mouth while dancing for Megs, Stewarts first gig in our room and jamming along, happy birthday songs, Bens birthday where we had night hackey sack battle next door yard with pippin then frenchy running off with the goon and calling us 'fucking australians' (because we wanted to play with the goon bag), going to see Jelly Tub Rolelrs with the amazing tap dancing kid and then coming home to jam on the Banjo with the band, High vibes festival! Getting there late with Swift then saying 'stocky leker' a million times, we owned the whole festival and ended up on chairs above the crowd singing and dancing , entertaining everyone, Ben showing up with Beth out of nowhere! The party at Anytime Place with Jonny and the Jonny Jonnies, by the end of the party, Stewart was running the bar, I was running the sound and JEsse was macking a girl in the bathroom! Morning picnic with Carla, Alicia, Stew, Megs and Jesse, dancing with hoola hoops on the park, Bario Fiesta, the tighest party, Austin, Pete and Allan came!! We made Party Duty Cards, Allan did an amazing job with the lights! The best Haystack of love ever! Austin made incredible punch, people were so into it, we danced and danced, the wind blew in and made us party harder! Having to rescue the party from Austins DJ Set! (Megs 'We don't have time man! Go go go! Let's rescue this party people!!", meeting Marina and having my brain implode, jamming, jamming, jamming, the universe celebrating with us and wishing me a happy birthday, seeing the dancing shadows in my room with Stewart (the room was full of dancing cheeky shadow spirits, this actually happened), the house coming alive, popping poppers into the air, the studio flooding the day Stewart gort here, cleaning it with him, watching the dark knight with Louis, Jesse and Rachel, holding ripleys hand to sleep, watching ripley sing along to the piano, jet and louis entrance to Barrio Fiesta (they looked amazing!), nick buying 25 kilos of beans, making a painting with stewart, waking up with a rat on top of me, seeing caroline again and wrestling her the second we saw each other, steves new house, steves poem to megs ( a beautiful honest poem which he stood for), the grafitti festival, lollypops from megs, getting doughnuts with ben, buying shirts with stewart from shaun, we watched forgeting sarah marshall, watched a lot of the daily show and the colbert report, ETC!!

How to put into words the precious months events? There has been such a multitude of experiences and good times that i'm afraid of not doing them justice by merely telling and retelling moments which simple words on a screen can not encapsulate or illicit the emotions attached to these moments which they deserve. Yet I also fear to not write of these majestic experiences and in time lose them to the annals of a memory so focused on rushing through life, living in the moment and losing the beauty of what was and will be again. So what can I say...