WHAT DID YOU DO THIS YEAR?


So it dawned on me that we don't focus enough on our yearly achievements, and that to make a list of things we have gained/completed or achieved for this year would be a good upper and motivator for all.

This is what I did this year.

• Came home to all of my excellent friends and ate lots of candy!
• Moved into a big house in a beautiful suburb with and awesome housemate and finally got my own room!
• Stopped smoking weed regularly.
• Got a job at a company I have always wanted to work for and kept it past the probationary period! (my first time)
• Started SSFD back up, we wrote our best songs yet and began getting gigs
• Bought a laptop after years of wanton desire!
• Got access to the internet after years of wild desire!
• Bought a home studio, keyboards, mics etc.
• Persevered Jeff
• Made a WMWM website
• Studied under Rev.Ivan Stang
• Learnt to use programs like Ableton, and Reason.
• Got a decent haircut
• Threw (with the help of many) a successful Halloween party. (Not our best but successful nonetheless)
• Took Acid for the first time, saw the glitch the codes and the matrix, a very heavy trip.
• Went to loads of gigs. Incl. 360, Slightly Stoopid, The Porkers, Sebastian Bach, The Zoobombs!!!!, The Rolling Stones, We Love Sounds, (What was the one with Cut chemist and Mixcrapster Mike?), Saturate, Faster Cooler Pleasure Show.
• Met Hal and got extremely drug fucked for a good two months in classy (and not so classy) venues. Fun.
• Fixed my Mesa Boogie head
• Bought roller skates
• Broke my ankle on my birthday
• Had wild illicit sex with some gorgeous women
• Started a poker club/regular poker games
• the bit about the sex was a lie
• Except for the Bosnian..
  
• My mum got a boyfriend (blood achievement)
• Played Tennis with Dennis
• Ran a Market Stall and sold what shirts we could. (Now I'm left with dud sizes that I need to flog off on ebay)
• Bought a big TV and a Dreamcast and built a collection of games.
• Got a Credit Card
• Created alter ego Ivan Rencourt
• Bought a bunch of books on Amazon
• Updated heaps of my blog
• Gained non fat weight and lost Anemic status.
• Washed dishes
• Sung Reggaeton for the skanks in K-Town
• Phone Wars with Jeff (I have to admit my loss)
  

So not a wasted year then! 2006 has been the year of material posessions!

Its amazing how much we really do do when we sit down to think about it! I feel better already.

Wow that "So not a wasted year then! Its amazing how much we really do blah blah blah" line sounded like some cheesy Team Leader motivational statement. Im sorry about that. ..

Oh and the Soccer! Oh the Soccer. Not an achievement but an excellent part of the year.



Plans For Next year :

Record an SSFD E.P
Make a 5 track Mesa Cosa Demo
Visit my family more often
Spend more family time
Get a better job
Buy a Strat
Make a good SSFD and WMWM website
Continue electronic music venture with Austin
Find (or be found by) a girlfriend
Read More
Read my grandfathers book
Call mexico once a week
Sort out studies or travel.
DJ MORE.
Learn to play piano, read music, play guitar better.
Melbourne.
Pay Silvia her money!

Ugh, a horrible, dreary, cold, depressing day. Weekend was good tho.

On friday I met with Austin after work at Martin Place, we went to Huthingsons Pianos and had a look at the rig which has become my new home studio. We put away two keyboards, an audio interface, a condenser microphone, a pair of monitors and all the necessary leads and extras. We got it for $1300, which is about a $400 discount. Without time to make the purchase on the spot we rushed to get to Penrith so Austin could drive his dad to a work christmas party,

I didnt go to my work christmas party by the way. Instead I went to a horrible gig to watch simo's band and a terrible, depressing, dreary, noisy, new wave post modern noise band called Damn Arms.

I ran outside yelling 'what a terrible band!', the band happenned to stop just when I said it and some people laughed, God must have agreed. So I bought myself a 'You Can Read' shirt in a drunken impulse, ah but with style, wearing my suit.. Ivan makes quick decisions, which reminds me, I need to develop Ivan as my alter ego, so im off on a tangent now, moving on, got to penrith with austin and went to my brothers birthday party, it was cute, he had some nice friends in there, i was disappointed he didnt get Zelda yet, but we hung out, again,

I let him down i promised i would be there in the next day, but couldnt make it, had to get a ride with Austin in the morning, we bought our gear and happily shuffled home to set it all up, the rest od the day was spent getting our sets together for Megans 21st.

The party was good, it was fun to d.j but did we get messy.. one moment i was chilling with the girls, nicole, sarah, etc talking about new scientist magazine, next thing i was along in a bar i didnt recognize full of strangers..

Stumbling around found allan and rachel, budge and stewart were still around, met stewarts housemate and shirt designer Max and had a long and pointless drunken discussion.. after dancing we stumbled out into the daylight, too confused between the six of us to make a decision we finally ended up going to stewarts beachside flat and passing out. Getting home was a journey of epic proportions. Taxi, walk, bus, suitcases, trains, and then when we finally got home, I didnt have my keys. We had to wait out the back for an hour and a half as allan slept and we got killed by mozzeys. Rachel gave me some candy and toys for temporary entertainment.

Finally got in and passed out to Back to the Future. Next day was bumming it until the guys went to Penno and I played with my new toys. Then comes today, the twelfth of the twelfth of the sixth.. a horrible, dreary, cold, depressing day.

OH and I got into a MASSIVE fight with Megan. Over E-mail, had I seen her I would have punched her out. She drink rode her bike home after she promised me she wouldnt on her 21st. I was/am so incredibly angry about it. I definately got too angry about it, I attacked her viciously, but she has been a real nasty hypocrit lately and I have had enough.. the worst thing is the way I felt when I found out she was drink driving home.

So Megs met a pervert through MSN on poker night.

Seeing an opportunity, we decided to pull a prank with the help of the crew..

--------------------

mjk says:
im so damn horny right now eheh
megs says:
so am i
mjk says:
heheheh..
mjk says:
haha ok honestly.. im wanking off right now
mjk says:
whats ur number? listen to me cumm heeheh
mjk says:
i need to cumm and i wanna hear ya

You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\Shamus\Desktop\Photo 24.jpg from mjk.



megs says:
send more
megs says:
come on
mjk says:
would my cock fit nice inside ur pussy?
megs says:
maybe.. send the second photo
mjk sends:

You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\Shamus\My Documents\My Received Files\Photo 28.jpg from mjk



mjk says:
can u send me something?
megs says:
i like the heater in the background
mjk says:
eheheh im glad u like it babe
megs says:
'maybe pose on it... would you?

mjk sends:

Open(Alt+P) You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\Shamus\My Documents\My Received Files\Photo 30.jpg from mjk.



mjk says:
ok send me somethingg
mjk says:
pleasee?
megs says:
baby one more pic then i will
mjk says:
nah ur prolly showing all ur friends aye
megs says:
no of course not.. im sorry haha ive never done this before
mjk says:
send me a pic just as norty
megs says:
i will if you do one more for me
mjk says:
whatya wanna see?
megs says:
i want to see your bottom hole

mjk sends:

Open(Alt+P)



megs says:
i wanna see your hole
mjk says:
mmmm can i see something of u first?
megs says:
you send your hole and ill send mine then promise
mjk says:
ok i took it

mjk sends:

Open(Alt+P)



megs says:
um do you have any dirty fantasies?
mjk says:
i love opening up like thits
mjk says:
send me some pics
mjk says:
omg im so fuckn horny
megs says:
ok do u want my number?
mjk says:
i wanna piss over ur tits and on ur face
megs says:
i want you to piss in my mouth
megs says:
ok one more pic, somthn kinky, ill take another..
mjk says:
ok whatya wanna see
megs says:
something up your ass and i will send you my ass
mjk says:
what do u want up my bum? ahhaah damn ive never been so horny to stick something up my bum MYSELF I Just Wanna Live
mjk says:
what am i sticking up there?
megs says:
tootbrush
mjk says:
hM!M! but what am i gonna brush my teeth with
mjk says:
cant do that
mjk says:
impossible
megs says:
............

mjk says:
ok fuck
mjk says:
hey put something up ur ass when u take the pic too ok?
megs says:
yehh
mjk says:
hehe okok goo
mjk says:
mwah
megs says:
do u like how it feels?
mjk says:
yea i kinda do
mjk sends:

Open(Alt+P)

You have successfully received C:\Documents and Settings\Shamus\My Documents\My Received Files\Photo 22.jpg from mjk.









megs says:
ok baby, here's my pic..
...



megs sends:


Transfer of "OWNED.jpg" is complete.


*mjk has disconnected*

I figured out my beliefs.

I believe in aliens, conspiracies, god, jesus, the devil, demons, death cults, magic, reptillians, cow mutilations, buddha, moloch, mayans, astrology, science, robots, castaneda, the matrix, the new age, crop circles, 2012, jonestown, krshna, quetzalcoatl, mushrooms, dream lives, past lives, mind control, free will, materialism, plato, the kabbalah, gandhi, nazi races in the arctic, lovecraft, the loch ness monster, epicureans, spinoza, archetypes, synchronicities, chaotic universes, folklore, king arthur, the hollow earth, martians, space bases, leary, huxley, orwell, the apocalypse, pelaideians, arcturians, channelling, satanism, reality hacking, altars, levitation, the flying spaghetti monster, the invisible pink unicorn, sinful man, eternal life, souls, ghouls, vampires, objectivism, materialism, marxism, communism, capitalism, anarchy, free trade, globlism, sex cults, arranged marriages, fate, soulmates, compassion, twin flames, st germain, kryon, david icke, armageddon, rosicurians, the masons, discordians, eris, fnord, J.R "Bob" Dobbs, meaninglessness, calvin & hobbes, the john birch society, the trilateral commission, the rockerfellers, the trinity, human rights, paradoxes, mary magdalene, our lady of fatima, apparitions, orbs, bible, the tao, the cross, freedom fighters, friendship, necessity, shordupersavs, hard work, ethics, marriage, love, rock music, lore, mythology, breakfast, infinity, old fashioned values, hinduism, miracles, rainbows, wishes, shotting stars, sea horses, love, beief, purpose, evolution, and the armageddon.

I also believe in not believing.


And I don't believe in Dianetics

"Have this", I grab the cardboard tab and stick it in my mouth, promptly forgetting what it is that I swallow. Austin mucks around with my crutches and the night turns into an eternal struggle of finding them and putting them back to their correct height, im off my head and having fun at National Beer Day until it comes to a close so..

We all head back to Allans, I walk through the door and look at the television..

"The writing is backwards!" i scream, but the rest think i'm crazy, so i sit down and assume that i'm just really drunk.. but then pingu appears on the screen and starts screaming at me! And what's with those rainbows coming out of the screen!! I decide not to mention them, since everyone can obviously see them and I don't want to point out the obvious.

Someone makes fun of me 'i play in band duhh', so i stand up, time stops, and i punch Simo on the head.
...................

Next thing i know im being held down and yelled at. 'What happenned?! what?!'.. but i look the fool and have to wear it.

I don't think i've ever apologized and meant it like i did that night.. it was like setting a homeless man on fire, Simo, of all people, the sweet vegan poster boy.

So he was kind of cut and i was upset, they left and I lay down to wallow and figure out what was wrong with me, i threw up emotions for the next three hours, lying on the floor, shivering and mentally releasing all my sins, i walked into the room where she was asleep and confessed as well as i could..

The patterns kept on showing, i was in other peoples shoes, i realized my arrogance and my mean streak, i realized that i am a horrible person, and that i dont know how to handle it, but i felt like i cleansed myself as well, as if that punch had cosmic repercussions, whether negative or positive definitely transitory.

The next morning Megan sez 'they were all taking acid at the party' and then it hits me.. the cardboard!

I'd been on acid, no wonder pingu had rainbows all over it...

the conclusion..

Beer + Weed + Acid + Pingu + Simos head = trouble.

Friday poker and i lost as usual, first out so down to the beers and jamming on the guitar. Shariff the smarmy winner makes us all upset but the night is good and we sleep in time to get up the next morning for the annual National Beer Day at flabsys house in Penrith.

Hours late but right on time we set up in the living room, grab some beers and get started, all eight people watching us enjoy our set, im already mildly enebriated so get into it, finishing on an epic rendition of pablo's love song with me hanging off the roofs beams.

The rest of the day turns into drunken shennanigans, great bands indoors and the kids with the black shirts mosh like crazy as i jump in occassionally to add some rasta scat, old skool rachel shows up, she looks great, alive and healthy, we have a good talk, later on before she leaves i tell her that that i want to kiss her, we have a pash, it's nice, and i hope to see her again even if its just to hang out.

Pablo says:
if you could trade me for 5000 camels
Pablo says:
would you do it?
simo says:
what am i gonna do with 5000 camels?
Pablo says:
SO many things
simo says:
no way
Pablo says:
you could carry salt across the desert
simo says:
hahah
Pablo says:
race them
Pablo says:
use their fur
Pablo says:
ride them and be a king
Pablo says:
start a camel army
simo says:
build them into an army of camels
Pablo says:
no seriously, think about it
Pablo says:
hahahaha
Pablo says:
great minds
simo says:
and take over canberra
Pablo says:
it would make world news
simo says:
hahah
Pablo says:
we have no natural defences against the camel
Pablo says:
so knowing this..
Pablo says:
would you?
simo says:
who would i be trading you to?
Pablo says:
you dont know his name but you suspect he is arab
simo says:
maybe if it was to nymph party aliens yes
Pablo says:
i see your point, but not to the shadowy man under the tunic then?
simo says:
hmmm id have to meet and greet with said shadowy figure
simo says:
and make sure my pablo would be taken care of
simo says:
nice blanket to sleep on and salt lick for dinner
Pablo says:
Yes or No simo
simo says:
no
Pablo says:
You are a true friend
Pablo says:
:)
simo says:
:)

Pablo says:
i worked for 12 hours today
Pablo says:
i almost got fired, well not really, but the had 'a talk' with me
Adam says:
12, need money?
Pablo says:
i got really angry and bagged out their systems, their human resources department and their ceo
Adam says:
oh
Pablo says:
FUCK EM
Pablo says:
i bagged out virgin as well
Pablo says:
i called it a sham
Pablo says:
haha
Adam says:
kristy also hates virgin now
Pablo says:
then i went back to work and fell asleep at my desk
Pablo says:
then the girl next to me got me a tea and some food which i needed
Pablo says:
they offered overtime, i said yes, haha even tho i could barely keep my eyes open
Pablo says:
then i started giving money away to anyone who had a complaint
Pablo says:
to shut em up and to fuck virgin
Pablo says:
then i got a commendation! a lady called back and told the manager i was 'the best customer service experience she'd had in a long time'
Pablo says:
an e-mail got sent to all the departments and managers about it!
Pablo says:
and i left a hero
Adam says:
hahhahaahaha
Pablo says:
and that was my day at work
Pablo says:
*bows*
Pablo says:
oh no..
Pablo says:
we have a gig this sat and i forgot to tell the guys
Adam says:
wha?
Pablo says:
im in trouble..
Pablo says:
BRB

October

"What did we do the last two weekends?

I know two weekends ago was friday the 13th, we watched scary movies at nicks house, then we drove to your house.. what did we do from there?

And this last weekend? what did we do? I know the presidents were on Sunday, but what about the rest of it?

Please help."



Allan Fryer
to me Oct 27 (3 days ago)

Before Richard's birthday where Dennis got into a punch up, you me austin megs zaina and liz went to that shitty gig......... EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY, you know...Dumb bitch, Craig's band, and those Rizehfizeh fags. Then you went home and i went to Adams. I had to work the Sunday.

Last weekend, you me and megs went to see the departed on Friday. Then we lost the car, met that lady you thought was god or some shit, then found the car, then went back to your house. Saturday morning, we woke up, went to the shops and you forgot your keys at home and blamed me, then you got p[issed off at megs for being loud, we hired "I <3 style="font-size:130%;">The Halloween party is over, and we can get back to normal life, the house had just been cleaned, and now its back to filthy, but i think it smells even worse now. The party was good, not great, but good, i guess we tried too hard and our expectations were too much, but regardless, the band was good, the dj room went off, the kids loved the laser, about 70 people came, we made some money back, the kegs got completely drunk, kovacs was a sleaze, the best costume went to 'unsupervised child' who had a plastic bag over his head, scrotes was dressed in surfie gear, megs was sonya, austin was a toolman, allan was donatello, gemma was a corpse bride, sophie was hello kitty, i was a commando, pete was motita!, fatty was paul stanley, swanny was a swans player, richards was a killer mechanic, kirsten was the girl from sin city, we had a couple of mexican pimps, shane was idaho, jeff was a doctor, all the costumes were excellent!

Next day cleanup was shit with a broken ankle, i think i put too much weight on it during the party, im kind of worried,

To Andrew.

"SO btw, coincidentally enough, i met god again last night, it was one of those magic moments that dont happen too often.

Well me and two friends went to watch a movie last night, on our way out we couldnt find the car, we walked around for 40 minutes from carpark to carpark looking for it! I was with Megan and Allan.

Allan is like the archetype of the eternal friend who is always there to carry your back but doesnt get caught up in the shit, in a way he's the real hero, kinda like a Sam from Lord of the rings, and Megan is my polar opposite other half, soul sister, girl i love and hate in equal and extreme measures, who teases that one day she will marry me even tho im equally petrified and elated by the prospect. So thats the characters introduced.

Allan was ahead of us, we were going up one of the carpark ramps, it was about 11 pm, no one around walking and looking for this missing car going up a ramp and this decrepid stringy, grey haired old woman is on her way down, pushing a trolley full of junk and picking at her eye which seemed to have conjunctivitis. I was ready to walk right past but Megan stopped to ask the old woman if she was allright, so the woman tells her.

"I have this infection, i think im getting attacked by other entities, I dont know why this is"
and megan says ..

"You think other people are cursing you? You dont worry about that, you need to have faith in yourself and nothing will get you" the woman replies..

"Hmm you think so, but theres so many people, who have faith in themselves, and bad things still happen.. I dont know, we came from this primordial soup, but if you look at it, we are the evolution of these simple processes, but they werent simple at all, they were complicated, and each speck of original primal matter was as varied and as awake and as complicated as we are today.. we think we are the top of the ladder.. but we are the same.. and we cant believe in only ourselves, in this world, where our ego takes over, and its such a perfectionist, getting it right getting it right, and we believe in ourselves as number one and we still dont end up where were aiming.. thats why I believe in something bigger, I have to believe in a god over myself, a creator? who knows.. but these madmen, ruling the world, they only have faith in themselves, and nothing more, and they are addicted.. oh but im just an old woman, and my eye is infected.. and I cant see.."

At this point, im paying attention, Allan keeps looking for the car.

Megan replies "No, i think you need to believe in yourself and youre ok, like, you are god, youre your own god man, so just have faith in yourself" (to this i roll my eyes.. megan is a bit funny, she pretends to have all the answers but she doesnt really know experientally that simple answers like these are not so useful) .. then i realize that this woman is special.. so i look up at her eyes, and we make eye contact, and her eyes are pure man, soo pure, a window to another world, just bright, clear, pure grey/blue infinite eyes. And she looks at me and they flash (i see the flashes sometimes), they flash like a dogs or a cats can, like a window to the infinite.. she says "What's your name?"And i say "Pablo", and she asks Megans name, and then she says "Thank you, i'll remember this, you know, that there are people like you who will take the time and care, and im thankful, you know, we're all in this together, so i'll feel better, maybe it will help me get better with this eye"

I told her to put some tea on it, and that we had to go.. her eyes flashed at me again, and she said "I know, we all have to go at some point, I thank you".. mind you, she wasnt speaking like completely steady, or with authority, her voice was shaky, but those eyes....

She says "You are always with god, jesus is always with you, bless you" and walked away..
We go back to look for the car and i realize that we'd only gotten lost to find that woman, and the she was there for us, not the other way around, she was helping us.

So im like "Megan, do you know what just happenned?"

And she's like "Yeah, remind me never to ask someone if theyre ok again"

And im like "What!? Did you miss that?! did you see her eyes? did you hear what she said? We just had a meeting with the divine"

And Megan was like "Ok yeah man whatever, i wasnt really listening to her ey"

"Fuck!! see, you had all these answers" I reply.. "But she didnt want answers, she wanted to share, that there are no answers, that we're on it, wow, her eyes flashed"

Megan is like 'Man i cant talk about God hey, i tune out, like pfft, we are our only god, fuckit"

And i reply "ARGH! You totally missed it! FUCK, how can you not SEE it?!"

Megan got pissed off "Sorry im not on Your level Pablo you mystic, pfft" and walked off.

So It stayed in my mind, I couldnt stop thinking about it, or that the other guys missed it, it occurred to me that God doesnt come looking nice and clean.. that its the devil, whatever the devil may be, who comes in a suit and tie and is charming, but god, god comes as the leper or beggar on the street, asking for help, and doesnt -give- you an answer, he alludes to it so you will find it yourself.

We split up, and finally Al found the car, we got in, I didnt bring it up again, and as we turn the corner out to the street, the woman was there, like an omen, and we drove off.

I realized, if that was a test, we'd both failed.

I failed because i didnt stop to offer help, and Megan failed because she didnt 'get' it.

But together, we passed.

Combined, we stopped, and got it. But only together did we pass the test. It seemed like a nice metaphor/lesson/parable/something.

When i explained this to megan later on, back at home, after id let go of my anger and my ego of having 'gotten it', tears came down her face but she wasnt crying, they just came out, i told her she was the only girl that makes me angry enough that im scared i could bash her. I didnt know if that was a compliment or not. But we went to sleep in each others arms.
...

Thats my overlong story of last night, its been my only brush with magic in the last four months so i thought it was special.

- Pablo

A Broken Ankle For My Birthday
.....................................................

me: guess who broke their angle and cant walk for two months

Pickle: WHO? not you

me: i did :(

Pickle: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK skating???

me: i spent all my birthday in hospital yeah skating

Pickle: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAY have you had a laugh yet?

me: at a local school, trying to do a trick landed on the bitch and CRACK

Pickle: OUCH did it hurt?

me: "its just a rolled ankle " nick sez as i roll and cry and scream

Pickle: you poor cunt

me: ive never felt so much pain

Pickle: ow!!!! awwww, my sympathys I'd better make that fudge now time off work?

me: it gets better.. no one could take me to the hospital the next day

Pickle: PS... you know I was GOING to do the dishes but I ran out of time.

me: so i had to wait for jemma to get home ( i couldnt even move, get water, or go to the toilet)

Pickle: incidently. FUCK

me: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" lemme finish..

Pickle: long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to light sorry go on

me: oh ok SO.. I had to catch a cab on my own to the hospita;l cab dropped me off in the wrong spot had to hobble, fall and crawl in sydney city streets to the hospital

Pickle: awww

me: till a man took pity on me and got me a wheelchair and pushed me then waited for four hours and they told me, "you've got a severe spiral fracture" blah blah blah nurses were hot too tho rather put a temp cast on me but my pants couldnt fit over it and no one could drop me off some pants so i had to walk out onto the street wearing a hospital gown and my boxer shorts with my ass showing i was so hungry i went to maccas anyway

Pickle: ha !!! thats cute ha

me: with people staring.. then caught a cab back home, it was so shit

Pickle: sorry

me: shit then my mum dropped by, she got her boyfriend to bring her, she thre a halkf hour whirlwind party7:38 PM she ran in, put on birthday music, handed poppers to everyone, threw streamers, sung happy birthday, pulled out a cake, added candles, got me to make a wish, gave me a present, made everyone pose for a photo, danced with megan, then said 'alas, i have to leave you now, i know its sad' and left all in 20 - 30 minutes, best speed party ever.. a pretty memorable if uncomfortable 24th then

Pickle: aww your mums funny well then happy birthday?? is it? memorable is good. well then. YOu fucked up. I'm sorry for your pain I wish it was me and I could take the cruel blows of reality on your behalf

and you could ride out into the world and take it on for both of us but alas...

you are crippled

And I am a free man

28th sep

Thursday - had to get myself to hospital, waited for hours for nick he didnt show up, cab dropped me off in the wrong spot, had to hobble to hospital, got given a cane by lady at the pharmacy, then a man called tom who does linen at the hospital got a wheelchair for me, the nurses were nice enough, 'so whats it gonna be, broken or not?' asks the good looking nurse, 'broken' i say.. 'correct'. 'Damn'.. then didnt have pants had to go out in a hospital gown, caught cab back.. mum came over and threw a whilrwind party for my birthday, she showed up with Ian and Matt, she had balloons and music and apple struddle, she was So impressive, she was in and out, it was awesome, she can do a party. Like stixx's a few years ago. megs and pete, austin and i had a j, jeff called me, a memorable birthday.

Friday - Hobbling to work was the most difficult thing ever, work was ok, but getting there and getting back is almost too difficult and I dont know what to do.. my armpits hurt and so do my hands. Im having hell and this is only day one. Tonight we're going to the Faster Cooler Pleasure Show at the Operah Studio. Japanese dancers and Regurgitator jams.
.............

Mel freaked out at the man ladies dancing and left early much to the groups annoyance, she took dennis and our ride with her, we stayed, Fats and I had a great time and slowly the guys were won over and finally delighted at the end of the night where Regurgitator played a drum and bass set. Got home in a taxi with megs and went to bed.

Saturday - Had our birthday party which almost turned into a shitfight cuz the guys didnt show up in time they were watching footy at adams, but they did turn up and a great party was had by all, allan almost set the anglicare depot roof on fire throwing sparklers, the girls got in their bikinis to become biki croquet girls, plenty of pisss, jeff, nick, pete and brendan got particularly hammered, Kim showed up with her crew she was shitty i didnt invite her at first, i was sorry and everything was ok. Polkadot stayed in my bed and we had a really nice time together.

Sunday - Parklife! Hobbling around could have been worse, plus i got quick access to the disabled toilets, ran into trish from work, she was pissed, we all were, the music wasnt so good, bad mixing and sound but great vibe and weather, went to hang with trish and we ended up getting onto each other, i was her boyfriend for the day, i hope things dont get weird at work, tho i dont think they will. Cut chemist was excellent, i was going off on denisess and fattys shoulders. Lots of support from people for wearing crutches to the gig 'youre a trooper' 'champ' 'dedication' were some of the most common comments. After we were pretty wasted,we ended up taking three hours to get home, there were no taxis in the city, we ended up having to catch a train, we were all out of it.

Monday - Lazed about at Dennisses, Megan showed up, she got done for going 80 ks over the limit on her bike and is going to lose her license and get a $2800 fine, in a way i think its a good thing cuz it will get her off the bike, which i dont trust her on. Sat around pretty much, lost a draw and had to go to the shopping centre to get food with dennis even tho my foot is broke. I was asking for it.. the guys played uno, came home, "did you do it' asked nick 'did you get with polkadot?!' *groan* 'yeah i did, and it was nice'. Oh well.

Thursday, jammed on ableton live

Friday, travel from city to austins, ran into lionel, had hash cookies and steve burgers and jammed music

Saturday 2nd poker at adam and kristies, dennis won,

Sunday 3rd embarrassing restaurant with mel and megan at bondi, beach, jeff

Monday 4th of sep, rach and mitch broke up, steve irwin died.

Tuesday work new TL, dennis fatty came over, played tennis, got stoneds

Wednesday, stoned.

Thursday, stoned.

Friday, went to brighton bar with megs and al, then went to spectrum, got impossibly high, hal, ketamine, chick with tit, danced, crossed road, ran into clay, taxi home

Saturday, skated to phonebox, raining, watched as good as it gets, freaks and geeks, with meg and al, pete came over, al went home, slept

Sunday, stayed at home, austin pick up, head fixed, band prac, fat sound, real stoned on hash cookies, steaks agt austins after

Monday, went to mums house, happy mum, cool matthew, debbie, ian, got shirt, wtached wii and net vids with mat, austin pick up, ausgtins for ribs, drive home

Tuesday, out of it, shit day, dennis made angry pablo, training, rachel, hired vids, t2 and aliens, sandwiches.

WEDNEsday late for work, 9.11 discussion on bombshell and owned them,assertively argued with dennis, organized sky diving ticket, came home, smoked j with rachel, listened to music while brendon played soccer

Friday went to Austins and chilled there while the nerds hard their dork off to the biggest geek win

sat Lounged at austins then went to poker at Mels and came third

sun went to als and slept all day then went to band prac and had a great band prac

mon my mums bday got her a camera,she was cool met ian, then went training to jamo park

tues - went to work feeling good, went for a skate, but stayed up watching aliens

wed - work felt shit, sent out halloween invites

HUR NO IDEA

15 sep

Friday - went roller skating for sophies birthday with megan dennis austin and al, als first time skating, jeff showed up a cripple, great time, went to rsl, got kicked out for not being drunk, big megan ice queen, then to austins he went on a tirade against mel for 1.5 hours. It was VERY funny.

Sat - from austins, WENT TO ALS, with megs, she looked like a cavewoman in the morning cuz of her hair, at als we lazed about then headed to the city to go to dennises get together, which wasnt much, we just stayed put and used the net, got some pizza, i think thats about it.

Sun - Went to the food plaza for crap salad and some seafood skewers, austin and i drove back to his, got our shit and had a great band prac.

Mon - Went to watch a crap movie with my dad, tallageda nights, from there went home and had a productive mellow home day, i even had a bath which was amazing. Rachel leaves in the morning.

Tue - Felt much better all day, probly cuz i slept and because of the bath, a good mellow day at work, and i got an e-mail from ange, also i bought some paintball tickets.

Wed - Rose got me some cool presents, I was feeling on my peak. Met a cute girl at second hand store after going for a skate, Went skating with soph and nick at a local school and.. landed on my ankle and broke my ankle, we didnt think it was that bad, went home in agonizing pain and tried to sleep it off as sophie bought her new hello kitty game..

Hello everyone,

Sophie and I are having our birthdays soon. (Sophie is on the 22nd and I'm on the 28th of September) And we're having a BBQ, Croquet game, Fire and Party for our close friends at our house on the 30th of Sept. (Saturday). Its a daytime BBQ, and nighttime booze up and fire. (Mezcal and Acoustics). And we look forward to have you all over to hang out as a family and share in the good times. Please RSVP to me or Soph by then so we can get enough meat. If anyone is after gift ideas, im happy with almost anything, tho a card with a few buck to go towards parklife would be great, and Sophie is into anything classic, kitsch, or informative.

We look forward to seeing you there!


- Pablo & Sophie

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So this almost turned into a disaster, with big fights and a broken ankle, everyone was at Shariffs watching the footy and showed up late. The night unfolded nicely however, with all participants getting toasted and having fun while the children (Al, Pete and Nick) played in the backyard and threw sparklers at each other. We also had a show of the Croquet girls in bikinis. Zoe debuted her new boyfriend Alex who was pretty cool. For my birthday I got framed photos, an etch-a-sketch and money, plus all the guys chucked in together to get me a parklife ticket which was excellent. That night I slept with Polkadot, not someone I am particularly drawn to, but it was excellent sex and a good birthday pressie!

They had a competition at work, the person with the most tight ass story won a $50 voucher.

This is my story.

"My Tight-Ass story is more than a story, its a way of life, and it is so far reaching and diverse that I am afraid of telling it all in fear of the implications, which may likely include legal persecution. Also, I would probably not be allowed in and out of the office without having someone watch over me and my fidgety little hands every time I move... Suffice to say, it is safe to assume that I am the destined winner of this tight ass competition and that I (being a tight-ass) probably need the prize more than most.

However, being of a paradoxically generous nature. I will offer some examples of my inordinate tightassness.

* I have been living in a living room for over six months. Im too tight to buy a matress so I use the floor. My sustinence consists of Mi-Go-Reng noodles and KFC leftovers from my housemates.

* If there is any food I dont like the taste of, even slightly, I keep the barcode number and use by date and call the company to complain and receive a check, so far I have amassed over $70 with the process.

* I once pretended to be mentally handicapped and drunk while hitchiking around Australia so that the authorities would let me into a detox clinic in Adelaide and I'd have somewhere to sleep and something to eat.

* I get on Centrelink before any new job, just for a week, and only so I can get a concession card for three months half price travel.

* In the past I've been known to walk around the streets of Mt.Druitt looking for cigarrette butts to scab tobacco out of and make a rollie or two.

* All my furniture is stolen from the front of an Anglicare Depot.

* While travelling in Mexico I lived off the 5 Peso breakfast (around 50 cents), even tho I had money to live like a king I stretched it out, I would also scab alcohol and internet money of my Mexican girlfriends and tell them how hard I had it because I'd lost my money and passport.

* Im still using a Nokia 5110, which broke months ago, but I'm waiting for the free one im going to get from Virgin.

* I steal toilet paper from bathrooms and sugar packets from coffeeshops so that I dont have to buy them.

* I only go to the movies on Tuesdays. (and only if someone else is paying).

* I pick up 5 cent coins.

The rest are far too risque and immoral for a professional environment such as this, so I will refrain from expounding them upon your virtuous ears, but rest assured, it doesn't get better. With that, I go back to my work and look forward to receiving the winning movie tickets and voucher which I will then re-sell to my friends for cold hard cash.

With stingy regards,

- Pablo "Can I borrow a dollar cuz?" Alvarado."

Of course, I won.

"I guess the key is to focus, something I've had trouble with my whole life, to the point where it must be pathlogical and furhter ingrained through schooling and work, Im always looking for something to do BUT the thing I should be doing, because thats what I've trained myself to do, with the aid of the institution.

This brings me to the glitch. To lose focus of the moment, and think about your problems, or yourself, distances you from reality, to then ponder why you've been distanced from reality, furhter distances you from reality. Layer upon layer until you forget where you started... and so you try to remember, addicted to finding the solution to your self created walls.

The only way to break the cycle is to operate outside the cycles rules. I.E, any advance in an anti system will still be negative, it is an inevitability. Regardless of how it is misperceived, it is a solution fabricated inside a negative rule set, so the outcome must be negative. I believe im addicted to this cycle and this is my glitch. It excarberated and became negative clear when I was on acid.

The message.. 'The world is your oyster, if only you'd focus, and let go of yourself'.. it seems clear that the only way to break the cycle is to operate out of the cycle, stop trying to find a solution, stop trying to remember the forgotten, just be in the moment and the rest will come rushing in, you've broken out...

I also believe this is a world consciousness thing.. I think we're all infected, I just happen to have seen my virus more clearly.

Its all conditioning, its all been said before and its all known, but If i could let go of the feeling that I need to achieve, and that 'something is wrong', maybe i could move forward a bit more gracefully.

Anyway, today seems to be a day of clarity and I've enjoyed typing this mail to you.

- Pablo"

I just need to get it out.. i went to an art/photography exhibition last night and got durnk on wine. Lauren one of clays friends wanted to get with me but i got sidetracked talking to a little bosnian chick about politics. (supposedly she's the drummer from the presets ex) Wine and politics led to beers at the pub and then she came to my house and we had sex on my bed (which is the living room floor) and during sex she said 'ive never done this before'.. i think she meant she was a virgin, that freaked me out enough but then she started crying and mumbling in bosnian doing this scary darkly comedic chant about how she was a catholic so i sorta flipped but i stopped but she told me to 'finish what i started' i was drunk so i tried again then she said she felt like a whore and cried some more i had to stop but then we had sex this morning it just happenned then. My alarm didnt go off so I slept in in like a total cliche woke up and saw her 'unngghhh' oh no. I was late for work, so I got my shit and ran off and sort of left her there but she told me she's leaving in a minute.. she invited me to go to the 'yeah yeah yeahs' tonight and i wanna go but i dont wanna see her she knows my phone number she knows where i live and i got the number of the friend of her friend who is really hot and is the one i actually like and my phone just turned itself off so i cant get the number of the one i like to invite her out and the bosnian girl is gonna think im a cunt that turned his phone off and im having a real tough time at work cuz im really hungover. the end.

I had acid.

I found the glitch in the program.

I chased it all the way on a feedback loop, its self repricating.

I found my negative other, we met at the crosspoint.

I think I broke into the 33rd cycle but im not sure.

I saw the codes. 444, 1441, 333, 393, 1111, 2277

Very Heavy.

-------------------------

We are reaching a null point, an 'adjustment', a correction of the system. The numbers need to be matched - accounted for. Probly on 2011.. who knows.. soon. Thats why the codes are showing up more and more, they're being narrowed down. No one will notice the re-set. But we'd be onto the 33rd cycle.. we'll be in a position to see the peak this time.

My consciousness seems to be using every window of opportunity available to communicate the mechanics to me... The program is not artifical, its a rule-set. The 'code' alone is very cold, very mechanical. You go in at the risk of not coming out. My program/code is corrupted and that makes me illogicably stronger... it can follow me but it cant catch me, the price is imperfection. The matrix refines the program in hunt for the glitch. Consciousness is catalyzed by the glitch. The perfect program has to have a glitch as source for chance and reference. A brief second of chaos allows eternal consciousness to infiltrate. The glitch creates a window for entry. The matrix has no agenda, its not evil, its a set of rules for space and matter to exist in, we use it however we want. But i dont know if we can get out...

1010. 333. 313... 39.. 0110

I followed my code.. 2891982. A Cycle. Duality, Infinity, Completion, Unity, Completion, Infinity, Duality. Repeat. I went to the 'peak' of the cycle and back to square one. Broke onto a new cycle. But I didnt learn much, I got to -one- on the cycle, laughed, forgot, and did it again...

When you get to the one you remember you were always in one and you werent looking for anything. When youre not on the one you're trying to remember the one and thats whats taking you away from it. Therein lies my glitch. It keeps me stuck in the system, but it stops me from getting caught. A Catch 22 on an infinite and expanding feedback loop. I believe Individual consciousness is stronger than the matrix with proper use.

Hope it makes sense..

We win by the way, We're always winning. But we forget and get really hurt.

Its umm.. as hard as you want it to be.

- P


P.S - I told Austin about the glitch, he thought it was a bit whack. Then we put on a Simpsons halloween special. Imagine our surprise when the episode name came up..

'Life's a glitch and then you die'

Its communicating with itself.

The Zoobombs are probably the best live band I have ever seen. I found their cd by chance amongst Sophies cd junk pile and was instantly sold by their brand of electro punk pop joy and bombast. Imagine my surprise when I saw an ad for a Zoobombs gig in my hometown in a couple of weeks from that day.

I had to go, and boy am I glad I did. The place wasn't too full, Dennis and Austin came with me. I swear it was a euphoric, almost spiritual experience, they played with such innocent glee and energy.. The singer was like Jim Morrison mixed with Jimi Hendrix and Johny Rotten, they had the FULLEST sound. I spent the first half in awe and amazement and the next half in tearful joy. People were jumping up and down, singing and waving their arms in unhibited abandon. Don, the singer fell over, held notes, became possessed and shone with delight at the crowd whenever he got a chance.. he was more than a rocker, he was a conductor, they broke strings, messed up, and brought it all back together in a cacophony of thick delicious sounds. I had SO much fun, I will never forget the Zoobombs.



Here's what the press have to say about them :

The Zoobombs are perhaps one of the most talented yet underrated bands in the world, in addition, Don Matsuo is a brilliantly gifted, yet unrecognized guitarist/arranger. An undiscovered gem, those having the pleasure of Zoobombs' brash sounds grace their ears, can appreciate funky hardcore at it's fiercest...and at it's absolute finest.

They infuse the music with manic and naïve energy; it's hard to tell whether they're playing with such unironic vigor or they're missing the mark so widely that they're creating something new by accident. Either way, it's damned refreshing to hear. Leave it to an outsider to discover something new and exciting in something old.

The Zoobombs rock, absolutely. Welcome Back is a blow to the solar plexus, a frantic and wild disc that careens across the indie nation's musical map, occasionally alighting on Jon Spencer-ish blues explosions, Beck-like grooves, and Sonic Youth-ster soundscapes. Despite these disparate points of reference, the Zoobombs create a sound wholly theirs--and wholly kick-ass. Matta (superfunky organ), Don (guitarist and leader), Bukka (beats), and Moo (bass) summon all the lost rock gods through their instruments

Described as funky hardcore, these Japanese guys are incredible. Y'know how The Hives have this intense, fierce, brash garage-rock sound? Well I'm telling right now...the Zoobombs even *out-Hives* The Hives. The entire album, it's like these guys are totally 'in your face' with guitars, organs, and screeching/chanting vocals. My goodness. It's almost like they're obsessed about letting you hear their music, and won't let you off-the-hook until you finish hearing each song.

A combination of blues, punk, funk, rock, noise, and everything in between - "Welcome Back Zoobombs" scores a perfect 10 in every category. Above all - this music is fun. It's up-beat, energetic, instantly likeable - "such incredible power the band holds!"

The Zoobombs could be a novelty act - if they didn't ROCK SO HARD! It's the John Spencer Blues Explosion with a Japanese work ethic - play harder, hotter and tighter than anyone. You won't know what all of the lyrics mean (unless you speak Japanese), but you may still find yourself humming along and bobbing your head to the music.

Oh man, what a joy the Zoobombs are. This Japanese quartet approaches rock & roll with such unabashed pleasure and unrestrained naiveté that you can't help but smile outrageously as you hurl your ass around the dance floor. They aren't exactly breaking new ground here, falling somewhere between the blues explosions of Jon Spencer and funk-laced Meters jams, but somehow, someway, they make you feel like you're hearing the music for the very first time.

You are all cordially invited to a night of skanking with your good friends Pablo and Austin.

A great gig, Mach Pelican and Los Capitanes as guests, in the cozy confines of the fine Annendale hotel.

FRI MAY 5 - ANNANDALE HOTEL, SYDNEYPETE PORKERS 40TH BIRTHDAY DISAPPOINTMENT SHOWTHE PORKERS with SPECIAL GUESTS + MACH PELICAN + LOS CAPITANES + PORNSKAS + MORE! -

------------------------

Afterwards we went to Vixens. We thought Mach Pelican were with us but it was just some Japanese dudes.

its sunday night, i havent slept since thursday morning, i went to funktrust on friday night, made a friend, Hal, went to his house for a party, he had a big bag of drugs, i ate six pills and went to a sauna on a roof of someplace in Sydney, then to the casino.. that night we went to a doof on the beach, more pills, by this point i was seeing through people.. they would dissappear and appear in other places.. weird flashes and lights swirling around me.. i could hear people whispering my name behind me but nobody was there.. ohhh.. next day went to see Slightly Stupid then to 360 which was a big all night dance party at the Hordern.. whoa.... three days, nights and no sleep.. blah blah blah *passes out on keyboard*

11.04.06 - The Stones with Austin, it was an allright gig, we snuck into the front section, the stage separated to create a catwalk reaching a smaller stage for an acoustic set, the stones were right near us, we were so close it was fantastic. A pretty good gig tho not spectacular.

18.04.06 - Whoa this was a MASSIVE weekend. It started off on thursday at funktrust where I met Hal for the first time, who invited me after to a party with him, he had a big bag of drugs and a hot girlfriend so I left the guys behind and went. He took me to some guys backyard, we sat around, Aren came with me.. then we went to the casino, Aren left, I stayed on and ended up at Hals house, where I crashed out for the day, meeting some cool people anyway, he took me out to a doof that gig out at maroubra, it was a good gig but I was hell burnt out, I met a cute girl called ashley, but I was too burnt out to follow that up. Hooked up a cool guy called Scott with some pills as Hal kept stuffing them down my throat, we left and went back the next morning to play some tracks but the gig was over. Next day went to see Slightly Stupid at the Annandale, still with no sleep, a good gig, nice and mellow, hung out with the guys backstage for a bit, Austin showed up, and ran into Brock from work, from there Austin and I went to 360, a dance party at the Hordern. By this point I was heavily wasted and seeing through people and time.. things got really weird. I think this was one of my most debauched and intoxicating weekend in my life. Three nights without sleep, thats gotta be a record.

Had after work drinks with my training group, Sarah, Trish, Rachel, the other Rachel, Dan and Vedran. Ive never had drinks with work people before. I like Trish, she's fun and cute. Megs showed up, Nick came to get us, by this point I was severely pissed. Zoe was on the phone to Megs, I grabbed it off her.. "I loved you!" I was joking but I got pretty worked up, ended up telling them to let me out of the car in George Street after a long rant against Case. Made it home and we went to a hip-hop gig at the Gaelic club. Soph and Nick came too, but everyone left early. I stayed and ran into Luke Hackett, my old red headed legal studies nemesis from Kingswood High, and Kenneth, who was one of the cooler homies from back then. They gave me a ride back home. The next day we had a bit of a get together, wore a nice shirt and took pictures. Then on Sunday we went to Ikea to see alll the Swedish Robot Alien Aliens doing their furniture thing. We also went to Glebe Markets. Nick ripped up a stuffed toy of an alligator on the road and an old man got pissed off. He was pretty hyped.

7.5.06

Went to Virgins merging with Simplus work party. It was crazy, Kristie Middleton didnt stay, tho she's very cool, but she was there for the 'assembly' which was funny, it was a school theme, we all got fruit and milk, and Russell, the new virgin mascot/campaign came out. 'Look at his bottom!' I yelled, making fun of the way his rear potruded from his silver space suit. I also got very excited about the cheerleader dancers. The party was very flash, Trish, Sarah, Den and I hung out. Danced, got pissed and had a good talk with Harley, and Martin. I did well at the party, afterwards went to crack onto a fat work chick (I was pissed) at someone house and ended up getting high on ice and talking shit, the environment wasnt too friendly. I got dropped off at Blacktown at 3 a.m and had to find my way home, ended up walking around and talking to strangers on the trains, met a cute little baker girl called Laura Shepton, we talked about life and relations, mostly me, when it was time to leave a spiritual looking aboriginal woman turned around and told me 'You are a very wise young man'. It felt good. Got home and slept for two hours before going to work, trashed and with many difficulties did I get through the day of academy, but I made it. By the afternoon I felt great.

Got into an argument with my bitch team leader Tanya, I wasnt going to take any more of her attitude, I snapped at her inside the call centre, heads turned and mouths dropped. We ended up going outside and sorting our problems, she ended up crying to me about her personal life, but it seemed to have helped, afterwards she treated me with a newfound respect. It takes someone to speak up to set someon in their place, sometimes thats all they want, for someone to tell them theyre out of line. I went part time after finding the full time hours unbearable.

Austin and I went to Pete Porkers 40th birthday gig,we got hima wig. Jeff and some other came too. We saw a great band called Los Capitanes as well. Afterwards we went to Vixdens, Luke Shirker andsome of the boys from Rofl were there along with some Japanese kids and the gang. We got trashed, the next day we got lollypops off Vox as parting gifts. Awesome.

The two mexican girls and how i fell in love with one and then she blew me off time and time again so i had a go at them and never saw them again.

Our excellent first day at the markets and our terrible second day.

I have a lot of stuff to catch up on in this blog.

Between the last entry and the next I have:

Returned to Australia from Mexico, scored a job at Virgin and had my hopes and dreams dashed like a gentle moose, lived on the floor of a living room for months, gone days literally without sleep and partied too hard, met Hal, hallucinated, seen the stones, argued with bosses, crashed parties with the gang, woken up in random train stations like Yagoona, played poker and lost, sold shirts at markets, badly, had crushes on mexican girls, met new people, etc.

So mind the missing space i'll fill it up later.

3:00 PM - Beers after work

5:00 PM - Beers with Rachel at Strawbs

8:00 PM - Goon with Rachel and Emily at Redfern

9:00 PM - Left Rachels house to go to Summer Hill.

10:00 PM - *Blank*

11:00 PM - *Blank*

12:00 PM - *Blank*

1:00 AM - *Blank*

2:00 AM - Woke up at Yagoona(?!) train station.

(I dont know where Yagoona is, let alone how I got there)

2:30 AM - $60 Taxi back to Rachels.

I think I better stop getting so drunk.

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PUTTING THE 'GOON' IN YAGOONA!!

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It took me all day to think of that.

Went to Rachels house to drink goon, drank a bit too much goon and decided it was time to go home.. next thing I know its 3 a.m and im in Yagoona? Where the hell is Yagoona? I dont even know how I got there or out of the train. I had to catch a taxi back to Rachels house, some junkie got in and shared the ride, she made the driver take the long way home. Rach lent me the money.. Pablo, putting the 'goon' in Yagoona.

WE did the ultimate in emo party crashing. Dennis invited us, when we told them at the party, they didnt even know who Dennis was. We took it as license to do what we wanted. Grilled tuna on the stove, bottlecaps, burnt things and yelling at people we didnt like. Megan messed up their MySpace and Sophie took a particular dislike for some poor blackshirted poser who faced her wrath for the evening. Out the front, Brendan gave me a line of coke, Stewart danced to Chromeo on the street and Nick smashed beer bottles on the road.

Poor old black shirt came out, in a pathetic tone he asked Sophie why she thought she was cooler than him. I laughed.

Sophie stood on the steps to let everyone know how much cooler than anyone else at the party she really was. A collective silence took over. Suddenly, Sophies sheer aura of coolness lashed out and broke the railing of the front steps, making way for a pile of bodies to fall down a story through to the bottom steps,

'Call an ambulance!' I heard as black shirts ran to the squirming mess of more black shirts on the floor. Austin ran away. "Uh.. I was moving my car" He came back later to tell us.

Luckily no one was hurt and we quickly left while taunting our now disturbed enemies.

-----------

Out to Sydney to an art exhibition with Dennis J and K, K was an asshole from the get go, even after not having seen me for a year -Your ideas are shit, the way you express them is shit, why do you even bother talking- Wow. He destroyed me, from that moment I decided I didnt like him anymore. Feeling shit and looking at the average art express fare, met up with Rachel, we left the Dennisses and went for a ferry cruise. Some skycars were moving ahead on the other side of the harbour, we thought we'd see where they'd take us and ended up in the Zoo. We didnt pay for entry and even stole a few dollars from a small pond for a longneck. The highlights being the Iguanas and Meerkats, we had to leave when we found they had closed the Zoo on us. Got pissed on the beach then went to meet her new boyfriend Mitch, who posed a friendly rivalry to my easily irritated drunken mood.

Had a four hour argument at Dennisses house about whether sunglasses should be allowed in poker. Dennis never even made one good argument against, yet we couldnt defeat his rhetoric and conversational terrorism skills and had to eventually give up.

First weekend of April started off having a big get together at the Sando, everyone showed up, had a deep chat with Stevie K who i'd recently gone to see with Simo to help record his bands first, and only, video clip (they broke up right after, typical), talked about Mexico to everyone, still catching up, met Vixen as well. From there we went to Dennisses, Stixx showed up, and got back to his old tricks of doing the worst thing possible by breaking a little Barbie Mobile toy phone which was the spiritual relic of Dennises Newtown home, Dan freaked and kicked him out. This is when we established that Stixx was a schlamiel, as outlined in -Games People Play- a book given to me by my grandfather which Id read on the flight home in regards to energy games and psychological games that people pathologically and subconsciously live out in their day to day transactions and relations.. The next day we had a big breakfast, and Megs showed up with her new dog Mos. That night Nick had his birthday party, we set up the projector and played x-box outside while Nick did some scratching. The next day Sophie and I really wanted to go see Dead Bodies and made Nick take us to the Dead Bodies exhibition at homebush. It was plasticized bodies which are used for autopsy studies which was a technique pioneered by a very odd and somewhat distubring man called something Von Wolfen-something, ran into Rachel with Mitch and her parents on the way in, it was nice to see them again. That night watched 'Lost in Translation' and had a cake for nick with candles. Andrew came by, it was nice.

Other things :

Finished Zelda with Matthew, a touching ending, had ti use a walkthrough. Didnt get into Majoras mask.

Saw Syriana with Al and Megs, hard to follow, very convoluted and complex, but the ending sort of made sense. A man said something to us about it afterwards, he recommended the book, Megs freaked out a bit about it. We drove back in the darkness, pickip up Nick on the way.

Had lunch with Zoe, she was cool broken up with Case we had a nice lunch at the front of the new plaza section, Farzin saw us across the road, I ran to his car 'Its not how it looks!' but it was in good fun.

I bought a T.V off Austin, who was selling it for Zainas brother. A steal at $250 for a huge telly, I figured I was better off investing now rather than waiting for later.

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It all came flooding back.. the photography exhibition, the free wine, the joints and the stumble home.. and today was the day I would leave Oaxaca.

We cleaned up and said our goodbyes, it was an uncomfortable departure, coming from me, it was hard when all I could afford was bread. I left some Mezcal..

Vianey and I connected by now, we had gotten over our (still very real) worries.. she would tell me about it later and luckily things would sort themselves out.. now I've been in those shoes. But in the meantime all I had was her kiss, her hug, a bus, and a box of cardboard on the road with her name written on it as an omen goodbye. "Te quiero"..

I woke up on top of a torta and next to a pool of vomit..

It was a harsh reality that I didn't want to face. I took a bite out of the flat torta and went back to sleep, but sleep wouldn't clean my sleeping bag..

Vianey had to fill me in..

Vianey cooks while I sit at the kitchen table and worry about money. There's months to go in the city and I can barely feed myself. We're living off scrambled eggs and tortillas, with the occassional sandwich or candy. Vianey and I make out a lot, but a scare of epic proportions has me concerned. It's not a scare in fact. I can feel it. I know. More than her which is difficult to believe, but I'm not proven wrong and a tension is created, that, and the worry of money turns me into a man not much myself.

We spend the time smoking, drinking, chatting, fucking and drinking coffee. We walk around town, make bracelets.. but I don't want to talk. I hold her responsible.. and I know it's illogical and immature, but the feeling remains.. eventually I turn to her for money, she gets some wired over.. I feel like a Dean Moriarty, a womanizer who takes money from his woman to gamble and drink.. but for someone who isn't this, it's an experience. I play my role well hoiwever, tho very uncomfortable.

Penia wasn't surprised to see me again, or maybe he was, either way, it was expected.

"Three Days" I said..

Like the last time we knew it would be more. But I was resolute to be back to the city by the 28th. It would only be two weeks at the most. Achilles was happy to see me, as was Lobo. I love that guy, the gang was cool and Joe and I regularly sat out the back getting bitten by mosquitoes and smopking from his crusty pipe.

Vianey finally arrived, we were meant to meet at the bus stop at three.

There's two bus stops in Oaxaca, in opposite ends of the city, and three could be three a.m or three p.m.. It wasn't PM.. she'd just sent the mail.. she would be here tonight..

I spent the night running from one end to the other, waiting, wondering, hoping. A strange man followed me down a dark street on the bad end of town.. "hey boy, what are you doing.. come here".. trouble.

I turned around and played it casual "Hey bro, a bit late to be out, hows thing"

"yeah boy.. come closer.."

I knew I was in trouble, my spider sense was tingling, this was it. I was going to get raped and stabbed.. I knew it..

Suddenly a force came over me.. I held myself together and looked back at the man.. deep and strong.. right into his eyes.. and sent out a wave of invisible energy.. 'Dont mess with this' it said..
He looked at me... he knew whatever it was that he was feeling, he should stay away, "you have a good night boy" he worriedly muttered. and quickly left into the darkness.

Something had protected me at that point, whether my own will, an aura, a feeling, or just my body language of touch me and i'll bite your face off even if I die.. he was out of there.

Finally at five I found Vianey in the bus stop in the good end of town, the one with the seats, if only i'd known. She gives me a big hug, we kiss and I tell her about the night I've had waiting for her. The sky is simply beautiful, thick clouds, green, pink, orange and blue, its a sight to behold. We go back to my room in La Casa and make out.

15.9.06

I'm back in the Casa Rasta, was there any doubt i'd pass by here again? I couldn't get in contact with Vianey or Pati, my mums friend, to stay in Villahermosa. So I beat it to Coatzacoalcos & there got the next bus to Oaxaca, a 10-11 hour trip. I slept uncomfortable and cold sprawled out on the back seat.

I'm in Renes room now, he's moved out since his girlfriend got pregnant, listening to Hilltop Hoods and waiting for my clothes to be ready from the washers. It's the 15th, Mexican Independence day! So i'll be celebrating with the gang and drinking Mezcal. I hope Vianey passes through and stays for a while.. I got a room with a chair.

Matias had his moneybelt stolen, it was in his bag in our room, he noticed this morning at Palenque's bus station, someone went into the room because I didnt scramble the combination on the lock. I feel partly responsible. I offered him 700 pesosbut he wouldnt take it so I gave him a bracelet I'd made at 'El Duende' where we'd hung out drinking cubas and talking. I feel really bad for him, I hope he'll be ok.. Im sure he will.

I'm on a bus back to Villahermosa, on my way back to the city and passing through Veracruz to see Vianey. My clothes are rotting and I haven't had a shower for weeks.

So I finally made it to Tikal, my number one destination since the beginning of my trip, I ha lost hope I would ever reach it, had it not been for Igaels encouragement, Robertas help, and the coincidences with Omar and Sinuhe, I may have never made it.

I went with Leonardo, one of my favourites, an italian traveller with a soul like my own. We'd met the night previous at Los amigos hostel in flores. He made me feel comfortable, we went out for drinks to bitch about the rude Israelis, but we agreed that there were reasons to their behaviour. The next day we made it out after I finally washed my filthy, rotting, stinking bag of clothes, we bought some bread, ham, tomatoes and avocados and headed to Tikal.

On the bus we met Kerry, a pommy girl who didnt speak a word of Spanish. We were the only ones going into Tikal on this off tourist season that evening..

We were greeted by an empty jungle quickly filling with fog, mystic energies could be felt, this is no exageration, shivers would crawl up our spines as we played at discovereres exposing a new wonder to the world. The pyramids crept up on us amongst the dense jungle and howls of monkeys, fat slugs crawled on the ground and we were careful not to step on them. What a place, what a feeling, i'm breathless just writing about it. The thick fog rose and created a purple blue haze.. a still and ambient vibe surrounded us.. we climbed the tallest pyramids and sat in joy and awe, and took photos as we discussed ways to spend the night in the pyramid.. as the night came and the sounds of the jungle died down a guard spotted us and walked us out of the park despite our pleas. He told us of the small percentage of the city that has really been discovered, and about his encounter with a leopard. "the scariest moment in my life"

We slept outside, sharing a tent and talking about the world and our travels. Kerry showed us her many collected items, all priceless, all meaningless to the casual observer, but each with a wonderful story, if only to Kerry.

The next morning we headed back to Tikal, the morning was as magnificent as the afternoon, but as the park filled with tourists it turned from a lost city of mystic pride, into an amusement park to be captured and shown off to friends back at home. I felt mildly sick, but would probably be culpable of the same behaviour had I been in the tourist situation so I let it go..

We ended up sleeping in a hidden pyramid during the day, the warmth and vibe was nurturing, comforting, full of vibrant energy.. I chased a butterfly then went with Leonardo and Kerry to sleep. When I awoke I took my shoes off, and decided to go for a random walk..

My intuition led me to an assembly of three mayan descendants holding a ceremony in front of the great pyramid.. I felt that my being there, without shes, like them, was no coincidence. I looked for their permission and felt welcome, so joined in on the ceremony. They accepted and included me in their prayers, to the lake, the deer, the sun, the stone, the u.s, yes even them.. I was handed a cigar to smoke and throw into the fire as they burnt colourful candles and effigies.. I serenely watched and felt the energy of the fire, the smoke, take me away with it into the skies and away from this world. A ceremony of goodwill, a ceremony of abundance. I will forver be thankful at having been accepted and invited.. this was the peak of my journey. I had done what I'd come to do, all was fulfilled.

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Notes from diary :

From Tikal I stayed at El Remate, ran into Matias, Chilean dude I'd met while working at Freedom Bar,we stayed up drinking cuvas & talking about interesting things, with Pablo, the owner of the palce. He almost didnt let us stay because Kerry and Leonardo tried to get a cheaper price. "No, youre rich tourists pretending to be poor" "But we'll go to another place" "Go to another place, you can call home and get money" "Ok you win, we'll stay".

Kerry was a bit annoying but has a great soul, Leonardo fell asleep. I decided to hook up with Matias and head to Palenque the next day.

Slept in tent with Leo and Kerry and woken up at 5 by Matias, we hitched a ride in a wagon to Sta. Elena, then caught a motorbike/car to Flores so I could pick up my stuff from Los amigos, said farewell to the brazillians & back to Flores to the border. A hot cramped, bumpy ride we then had to cross the river to Mexico they wanted 250 Q!! Fuck that, we got a taxi for 100, the driver was cheery and helpful, took uss to a spot where we could cross for ten pesos, on the way we ran into Jens and Saskia, Matias knew them and they came along for the ride so we split the cost, at the mexican border we caught a bus to palenque. I found out I couldnt change my Quetzales!! luckily i found some brits headed to guate and swapped half, the other half I changed at Panchan, a resort in the palenque jungle where we stayed.

El Cuarto de Tula ..

En el Barrio la cachimba se ha formado la corredera, X2
Ahi vienen los bomberos, las campanas sus sirenas..

Hay Mama, que paso? X2

El cuarto de Tula agarro candela, se quedo dormida y no apago la vela.

A-, G, F, C

San Pedro -> Guatemala City w/Angelica -> Barrios w/ Emmanuel & Jenny, talked to man on bus, read play while he sung.. -> Got mugged by crackheads with icepicks -> Livingston, rastas, black africans, met Heidi, Collin, Hoff, Zara (Israel) -> Seven Altares -> Ixobal (yuck!) with Hoff and Zara, learnt Hebrew -> Flores, casa amigo, ran into Brazillians from San Pedro (performers and artisans) met Leonardo -> Tikal w/Leonardo & met Kerry on bus.

August - 2005



The Seven Altares are the most beautiful wateralls I have ever had the fortune to see, the cleansing waters truly refresh my soul, as I cross through each fall larger and louder than the last. I spend hours swimming and laughing, watching the dragonflies drink and mate, jumping off the rocks into the pristine blue green water.

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We leave in the morning dark, we set our alarms and the group hussles together in the darkness, I pay for my room and walk to catch the next boat out. I go with the Israelis. We get on a boat and gently glide away into the darkness of the morning sea.

I decide to stick it out with Hoff and Zara, partly out of fear of being alone, mainly out of wanting to get inside Zaras pants. She has a delicious ass and the most gorgeous of smiles. She is bitchy but cute, moody and adorable. We get to the shore of a dirty market town, buy some supplies and onto a bus where I make sure to sit next to her.



We are on our way to an 'Ecological Park', the whole exercise screams of tacky tourism but I am not letting her go. We reach 'Park Ixobal'.. A set of prison cabins and mess hall located in the middle of a large clearing, hosting a big dirty pool and cages with a monkey and a beautiful red and green parrot. The prices are far beyond expensive, and we are not allowed to cook any of the food we'd bought. "You can only eat what is on offer!".. all exorbitantly priced for a worn and poor traveller.

I can't believe where my manly desires have led me to, completely astray, the place is full of Israelis, mostly arrogant, all speaking hebrew and making no attempt to include me in their pointless chit chat. I strike up an argument with management, demanding to be allowed use of the kitchen. "This is the first hostel I've been to where I cannot cook my food! This is a joke!"..

They wont change their mind, I use their kitchen anyway, sneaking out a few pieces of bread and some butter. I give up on Zara and sit down to play a board game with Hoff. Some sort of space strategy battle which keeps us warmly entertained. At night in our cabin they play me some horrendous Israeli rock 'music'.. I pretend to not mind while they delightedly sing along to the gurgled utterances of what must clearly be some obnoxious fool famous in his homeland for his absurdly high level of mediocrity. I learn some Hebrew by bugging Hoff to teach me all sorts of stupid saying and words, I keep at it for hours. By the end of the night I have the general populace convinced that I can understand what they are saying, and also make fun of them.

** Learning Hebrew with Pablo **


Ani Ohev Kofim Ve Gvina - I Like Monkeys and Cheese

Shalom - Hello

Ken - Yes

Lo - No

Tov - Good

Toda' - Thank You

Schmi Pablo - I am Pablo

Neim la Kir? - Whats your name?

Azov oti Imash ha - Friendly derogatory comment involving the third parties mother.

Yelda-iafa - Pretty Girl

Ein Kofim she medabrem Ivrit - Monkeys don't speak Hebrew

Ima shel'ha meriha K'mo hamutsim - Your mother smells like pickles

Ani olej; levashel - I am going to cook

Kulam ohavim le ehol beitzim im batzal - Everybody likes eating eggs with onions

Sliha aval otha meriha k'mo et hasir - Excuse me, but you smell like a pig. (dangerous)

The walk to the beach is a long and interesting one. There is a feeling of being in an old african american town, a tropical New Orleans or Alabama. I stare at the big houses shrouded in exotic vegetation creeping up the peeling walls. Skimpy children run past me giggling, playing with sticks and stones.

The path I follow leads past a beautiful cemetary with a voodoo feel. The large gravestones grab my attention, I pass a sarcophagus and calvary cross to sit upon an altar and stare at the grey moss covered tributes to the once living and now departed. The sun descends upon the graveyard and trickles through a great and surely wisened old tree to form clearly visible streams of warm, ambient light. I smile and pay my respects then continue on my way down the dirt path soon siding by an enormous mountain of rubbish, the towns waste being gleefully poked and prodded at by families of settled vultures looking for the best scraps of the day..

The path leads to a large hanging bridge over a gorgeous inlet to fnally reach the Caribbean coast.. and the most disgusting beach I have ever seen.

Reminiscent of a post-apocalyptic landscape the beach is strewn with miles and miles of rubbish, plastic bags, toothbrushes, bottles, shoes. I am scared to even walk on the sand for fear of getting stabbed by a rogue needle. I hope that as I walk along the beach the rubbish will lessen but if anything it increases to become a blanket cover of the little beach that there is. The rubbish is endless and the smell is foul.. I head onwards and go into the shoreside jungle to get lost for a few hours..


I am looking for the seven 'Altares', waterfalls famed for their beauty amongst travelling circles but find myself wandering in a thick tropical jungle, thick moistened aire rises from the ground, rustling and strange noises within the dark can be heard. The further I go the eerier the scenery gets.. Its not long until I realize I am hopelessly lost, I scoff at the cliche but its getting dark, I turn back.. Finding my way after a troubling hour of fear and desperation.



I will find the waterfalls tomorrow..

"We're going to Livingston!!" I scream into the salty morning air.

Visions of shacks, palm trees, and beautiful blue beaches lapping at my travelled feet fill my imagination.. Emmanuel and Jenny aren't so sure, but my mind is set, I'm getting on the next boat out come rain, hail or shine.

I sit on the concrete floor of the dock and wait, steadfastly holding my ground and ignoring the others groans of dissapproval. "The water smells like sewage!".. but I wont budge. The locals stare at us and we stare back. Time drags as the sun burns our dehydrated bodies.. Eventually a rickety white boat that will be our ride out of this town arrives, and we are hussled aboard. Big black african women wearing large straw hats and bright dresses shuffle on to get a good spot. Their pressence seems odd, I'm not used to seeing black people in my travels, only brown or foreign. I figure they must be tourists.

The boat quickly fills and we are on our way. Nobody speaks, we are all too tired. I take a few snaps and watch the waves from the boat foam and crash while the others sleep...

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We arrive to a tourist tailored island full of black African-Central-Americans selling shells and trinkets, riding bikes, carrying boomboxes playing rap music while smiling big toothy grins at the new arrivals.

"What are we got here?! Who are these mon? tired souls brings me the sea y'see! You need a shelter we give you the place bro! Right you come with me mon!" The big guy intercepts us as we step off the boat. He's right, we need shelter..

"And you need some weeda mon, gonna get the sensi yah?" Right again.

I feel we can trust him and follow his lead.

"I run this place, come on little, we take together to the place you want! Not wanting waste all day looking, rite?" He looks at Jenny, "You tired mama, you too, I show you just the place"..

Too exhausted to argue or even try our options we follow him to a small hostel. The place seems nice enough, showers, and rooms with fans.. we get two rooms, one for me and the other for Emmanuel and Jenny so they can finally have some time alone. A shower is in order, then some food and then to explore the island.. It is another world.

The culture is 'Garifuna' a race born from the descendents of African slaves brought by the French and Spanish. Freed to create their own culture and language, a sing along mish mash of three different tongues. This is where the black women had come from. This is where I would finally see the caribbean beach..

An endless bus ride later and we reach Barrios, none too pleased to get out of the comfortable back seat I clamber out dazed and frazzled onto the street of the depot. The town is as dirty as Guatemala but with a caribbean feel. Teens in shorts riding bikes and young girls with mini skirts and tank tops can be seen flirting through the darkness. We pull our stuff out of the bus and look for something to eat, everywhere seems cheap and nasty, but I am excited purely from knowing we are at the coast, finally at the caribbean. We settle for an empty well lit restaurant. I order some tacos... and get a tortilla with meat.

"Can I have some lettuce and tomato?" I ask sheepishly,

"We dont have lettuce" Comes the gruff reply,

"But that man has a plate full!"

The waiter grabs my plate and walks off in disgust, returning with a few leaves of lettuce and two slices of tomato. I eat my food and put my head down. Emmanuel reminisces about Mexican food.

We go back to the depot to sleep, but the heat makes it impossible so Emmanuel and I go up the road to a small alcove and smoke some pipes. We have a good chat about mushrooms and Emmanuels many psychedellic trips. Three guys our age appear from the darkness, they seem friendly, we shout them drags. Something feels strange but I think better of it and kepep chatting, "You're our brothers' our new acquaintances insist then walk off.

We keep on talking, it's getting late but the night feels young, the three youths come back, we have a chat, two get rowdy but the taller one with the afro and yellow shirt tells them to keep quiet.

"These are our brothers, you gotta look after the brothers, be good to your brothers!" he scolds, Emmanuel and I nervously agree and keep the conversation going. He then turns to us.. "Look after your brothers! Thats what its all about! So I looked after you, you look after me, what's that necklace you got?"

I look at Emmanuel, "Leave" he says sternly. I stay.

The tall brother grabs my necklace and before I know what is happenning, an icepick is held to my throat. Realizing the gravity of the situation I quickly freeze up and try to calmly deal with the 'brother', drops of sweat form on my forehead while I entertain the consequences a wrong move could entail.

"You gotta look after your brother, brother!"

I am not prepared for this.. I snap.

"You're not my brother!! Man we shouted you some weed now you want my necklace? Its not worth shit! Why would you want that?! I stutter..

"What have you got then.. Brother.. whats in your pockets?!"..

"Nothing! We're poor like you!"

He reaches into my pocket and pulls out my money, 60 quetzales, not much but enough to eat for a few days. The other two are onto Emmanuel, they rip his necklace, he tries to get it back but they push him away, each one has an icepick, holding them to his chest they rip his brand new camera out of his pants and toss it at each other laughing.

"What have we got here! Thought you didnt have anything! Hahahaa allrite boys! These brothers are looking after their own! Lets go brother! Hahah!"

They take off into the dark allyway they had appeared from. Emmanuel is upset, I am in a state of disbelief.

"How could they do that! They were so nice at first, they took your only posession! Man that SUCKS!" I yell incredulously.

"Just crackheads, i'll live.. maybe I wasnt meant to have it, let's go" Emmanuel quickly replies.

We walk back defeated to the depot. Jenni had been worried. With nothing left to do we try to sleep and wait to get out in the morning.