Friday, March 30

This is my self discovery/growth phase.

I am wrapping up who I have been and who I want to be.
Its my quarter life wrap up.

The next month of this blog will be very introspective, and kind of gay.
I apologize to my two readers.








Who am i?

I'm Pablo. Pablo Andres. It means "Small Warrior". I think this is accurate. I'm small. But not short. I have scruffy hair. I play with it a lot but get nowhere. Its a source of contempt and elation. I like to dress with an individual style, but not an outlandish one. I have had many experiences, and met many people.. I've been many people, and many places. I am masculine, and i'm not docile, but im drawn to effeminate things and bright colors. I gush over things. I like to wonder. I have a short sight when it comes to time. I don't sleep enough. I am active at night. I don't change my underwear as much as I should. I am loud, but im not a loud person. I stand up for what is just, and will fight if I need to. I am strong spiritually but get lost easily.. I am easily affected by energies around me, by others moods, by environments, by the weather. I am very airy. I am drawn to so many things, but I dont seek to specialize, I just like to see what things are about, then move on. I am extremely curious. I want to know what is going on everywhere, and must know what I'm not meant to. I like to experiment. I don't really like challenges, but I like it when I overcome them. I am easily lost but never far gone. I lose focus easily. I make an impression on people. I lead when I need to, or when no one else will. I don't like to work, I tire easily. Repetition destroys me. I like music, I like music a lot, but i dont take it seriously enough. I have had many mystical experiences. I feel that im special, but know that everyone else does too, yet cling to the belief of a star.. I've always been protected. I like to create, anything and everything. I am bossy and demanding, but only out of ignorance of others perceptions. I really want what's best for everyone. I have a lot of friends. I use the internet more than I should, it amazes and enthralls me. I like to read but can't stick to one book. Ive lived the cliche's of relationships and loved them. The Barbie, the girl I loved who left with the best friend, the girl I loved/hated who wouldnt leave me alone but who subconsciously didnt want to leave me alone. I can make really bad first impressions, when im weak or dark I can be awful. I am transparent, and sensitive. I magnify the energies around me. I pick up on energies. I can quickly think things to the point of no sens. I understand feedback loops and cycles. I have connections to the Mayans and have done pilgrimages to energetic centers on both sides of the world. I once jumped through a window.

what are some things you love about yourself?

I will fight, im opinionated, im perceptive, i can sense magic, im in tune with forces, ive spoken to god and met jesus in mexico (it sounds odd ok, you had to be there), i like pretty girls and give it a shot, im clever, i am sensible, i create warm spaces for people to play in, i have amazing incredible friends, my friends think im amazing and incredible too but i dont understand why, i travel, i write, i create, i have good aesthetic awareness, i can get along with a large range of people, i have wisdom, ive seen auras, i find incredible books, i collect wonderful things and share them with people, i receive messages, i wear nicely colored clothes, im good at sex, im not vulgar or crude, i get things, im grumpy, i try my best to harmonize situations, im a catalyst and glue, my grandparents love me, i am both practical and idealistic, and not, i move forward, i dont try to hurt people, im happy go lucky, ive messed with big forces and stayed intact, i have an insatiable intellectual curiosity, im open minded, im curious, im easy to get along with, im anti establishment, i have a built in distrust of authority, i care for the world, im interested in crazy topics as much as in normal ones, i have excellent taste in music, i keep a clean room, i go to concerts, i run to the front, ive started bands and made songs, but not lately, im naughty, im mischevious, i have nice complexion, i can be good looking, i speak spanish and english, i have many families, im good with money, im not selfish, i sense coincidences, i have a childs spirit, im mature when needed, i make nice art without trying, but not as often as id like, i can write good melodies, im employable, i have morals and ethics, my birthday is a significant palindrome, my foot is a whale.

(Update) I can fit my whole fist in my mouth, I get a fat belly during the cold seasons, winter depresses me. I think too much. I like black tea, and I don't like people that tell people that they like black tea or other inconsequential little factoids about themselves. I like music with individuality, charisma, energy, charm, groove and feeling. I like to feel sometimes that im a che guevara or zack de la rocha, other times I like to feel like im Sal Paradise or Sebastian from the never ending story. My birthday is a palindrome and I really like that. I dont like that Im older than I look and I try to avoid telling people my age. I always think im going to do more than I actually do but I always end up doing more than I thought. My grandmother is religious, my grandfather is scientific. I like quirky girls but not crazy girls. I like to push things but I'll be the first to stop it when they get too far or out of balance.. I'm chaotic good, meaning I can be sneaky or mischievous, maybe even devious, but never when I see that it's going to do harm. I can vacillate between really ugly and really attractive, sometimes I look like a mongoloid troll, others I look like a dashing young man. How I think affects how I look. I've seen auras, my great aunt use to see auras. My mum picks up on things, I use to laugh at her until I started picking up on things myself. I am somewhat of an elitist when it comes to company, sometimes its helpful, sometimes its negative. I have sporadic inferiority complexes. I like to play dumb and annoying, I like to shout and get angry about things. I like being cranky. I think its funny.. you know, this thing is getting cheesy now... I just wanted it to be a log of who I am, or think I am, but now it sounds like Im advertising for a date. So i'll stop.

Wednesday, March 28




When you know where you are going you can never get lost.

No matter where you are, even if you don't know your surroundings, because you know you are on your way.

If you don't know where you are going, no matter where you are, you will always be lost.

To know where you are going you need will.

When you know where you are going, and have the will to back it up... nothing can stop you.
Not even the Gods.



This is what happens when a joke goes way WAY too far.

----------------------------------------

From :
Stephen Bowers
To: djordan, me, Allan, den, Steve, Sean, Sarah, Jeff, Megan, Melanie, Jonathan, simo, adam, Sophie, Stephen, Nicholas

Well, I started my first day of TAFE today. I've had one class already and now I'm on a 2 and a half hour lunch break.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
-

From: Pablo

I've heard about that quick brown fox, and i am disappointed about its lack of respect for the lazy dog.
-

From : Jeff Ozog

Maybe if the dog wasn't so lazy, the quick brown fox wouldn't be jumping over it...
-

From: Pablo

Maybe the dog is misunderstood and what we take as laziness may be meditating?

I don't think we're being given enough of a background here to create a proper context in which to judge the actions of either the quick brown fox, or the lazy dog.
-

From : Sophie

maybe the dog challenged the fox to jump over him?
-

From: Djordan

Maybe the fox was trying to encourage the dog into activity?
-

From: Pablo

I propose an investigative task force with the objective of getting a greater insight into the controversy that is the (reportedly) quick brown fox, and its intrepid jump over what we can only currently (with our limited information) call the 'lazy' dog.
-

From: Jeff Ozog

I volunteer myself to go undercover at the local pound and get to know both parties involved to better understand their motives.
-

From: Djordan

Hang on.

I believe something was missed here.

The adjective used to describe the dog was 'lazy'

Therefore if the dog was not lazy then he would not be the dog the quick brown fox jumped over referred to in the first place.

The facts are undeniable. The dog is is lazy.
-

From: Djordan

Also, the same logic applies to the fox being quick.
-

From: Jeff Ozog

But that could all just be the perception of the person who made the statement. The underlying point in this investigation is to ensure there was no bias in the statement, and that neither the dog, nor the fox, are being misrepresented
-

From: Pablo

I have to agree with Jeff on this one, we have no credentials from the purported spectator of this situation. I am hardly going to trust an 'Anonymous' when it comes to important matters regarding what could be a quick brown fox and a mysteriously lazy dog.

This statement has had no oversight and has been arbitrarily taught to millions across the world without a shred of evidence to prove that the statement is indeed as it claims to be in its tone alone, a fact.
-

From: Pablo

Or maybe, just maybe, we're looking too far into it. But I refuse to accept this possibility as already too many resources have been allocated in the search for the truth.
-

From: Jeff Ozog

I'm with Pablo on this, we have now invested too much time and typed too many multi-sylabled words, constructed in complex and thought provoking sentences, to back out of this now... think about the public backlash should we fail to produce any valid conclusions after all the publicity surrounding this matter.
-

From: Djordan

I disagree.

This statement is anchored in reality only in the situation in which the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Were there to be a situation in which a dog was not lazy or a fox not brown or quick or a fox didn't jump over the aforementioned dog then without doubt this is not a situation which the statement indicates.

QED

The fox is brown
The fox is quick
The dog is lazy
The fox jumps over the dog.
-

From: Megan M

So *BLANK* is ready to move on i guess.. i cant deal with this at all. i really can't. imagine how he felt. if he doesnt love me because i've made some mistakes though.. i'm through with people abandoning me when shit gets too hard for them. they can all fuck off. The world is full of people with no guts. he says he "tried and got nowhere so it couldnt work"
here i am making an effort to improve myself and in turn our relationship. I guess he did get somewhere didnt he?
not that he'd care to notice. i've apparently fucked up enough so to not deserve love.

i'm so depressed

i wish i had the guts to stab myself in the back of my throat.
-

From: Pablo

Megan, tho I appreciate your sentiments.. I fail to see how they have any relation to the quick brown fox and/or the lazy dog. Unless of course your message is in code.
-

From: Jeff Ozog

Dennis, you may choose not to partake in the investigation if you so choose... You seem willing to take this statement for its face value without even questioning its motives, source, or reliability. For all you know this could have been released by a radical Pro-Fox, Anti-Dog group trying to create a stereo type of foxes as 'quick' and dogs as lazy... When taking the fact the person who originally made this statement is anonymous, i can only assume the worst. I smell a rat.
-

From: Djordan

Perhaps i am trying to lead you away from an investigation which will lead you in a direction you do not want to go.

The phrase was created for a specific purpose.

The end you seek would not be too dissimilar to trying to find the other two parts to a Ford Festiva Trio.

You may be led to a landfill but would you be fulfilled by this end?

It is not the meaning but the content which is important in this case.
-

From: Pablo

Rumor has it that the sentence we are so intent on demystifying in fact includes every single letter in the western alphabet within it. Now, I have not done a full report on this as yet, but I do believe that this may come in useful at some future point.

We could be dealing with an expert cryptographer employing some type alphabetic binary code in order to tell us a secret bigger than life itself!
-

From: Jeff Ozog

Interesting, progress so far...
As part of my character breakdown, i am led to conclude that Dennis, is in fact part of the Pro-Fox/Anti-Dog radical group i previously mentioned...

Perhaps i am trying to lead you away from an investigation which will lead you in a direction you do not want to go.

This sounds like a thinly veiled threat trying to discourage us from pursuing the truth! Out with it Dennis, what are your relations with the Fox... how much did he pay you!
-

From: Djordan

So, so simple.

I have no need of threats.

It is a warning.

Do you really think that scratching this surface will really reveal what you are looking for?

You'll drown before you see deep enough!

Fools!!!

-

From: Jeff Ozog

Dammit! How many more Fox lovers are there in our midst... Pablo - I think we have bitten off more than we can chew... but i refuse to bow down to threats by pro fox terror cells! I will uncover the truth even if it kills me!
-

From: Pablo

No.Jeff.We.Must.Not.Continue.

The.Truth.Is.What.The.Fox.Did.

I.Am.Happy.Now.
-

From: Jeff Ozog


Nooooooo!!!!

You will not silence me!!! The dog must be given the justice which he deserves! You set him up, and now you've gotten to pablo as well!!! Who's next, the Cats? Rabbit? or even the humble Goldfish!
I will not let your corruption get in the way of animal justice!
-

From: Jeff Ozog

I'm off kids...

Tomorrow on the slacker mail...

Jeff and Pablo try to investigate whether Peter Piper did indeed pick a peck of pickled peppers, Dennis, tries to prove that a woodchuck does chuck as much wood as a woodchuck chucks... and also a special report on who sell sea shells by the sea shore, and whether doing so is in fact ruining our marine environments by removing the shells in which the hermit crabs rely on so heavily for accomodation...

Stay tuned!
-

From: Pablo

I'm looking forward to tomorrow!



Wednesday, March 21

it must be a scary thing when God sneezes
My Friend Jeff



.... all he does is play Xbox. ALL.DAY. EVERY>DAY.

As I type this he's loading up the game, wearing his headset, chatting on with the other nerdlings...

"Dude! You play Xbox WAY too much!"

"Dont tell me how to live!.. oh god, someones got the sniper"

which one of you motherfuckers has the sniper rifle?!

good thing about this, its only a short ammount of time before you have to worry about who has the sniper rif... ARE YOU FUCKING TRANSCRIBING THIS?!

oh look at me im so funny, making fun of my friend on the internet"


"Ahahahahaha!"


"i just think its pathetic that you think everything i do is funny even when its not.. if i had no lif.. oh no! Stop shooting!! no shooting! bad boy!"

Sunday, March 18

Saturday 17 March: DNBBQ
Influenced by over 25 years of listening to jazz, funk, soul and reggae, Big Bud has released over 100 tracks including four albums. Bud will be joined by Hermitude, King Wrasse, Alf, Vice Versa. kicking the bass from 4pm well into the AM at the Abercrombie Hotel


Im going to this on Saturday, everyone's invited. Free.

>
This turned out to be an excellent night out > Al, Austin, Jeff and I. Rocked up, danced our asses off to Hermitude, hung with some latinos, drunk beer, and went home satisfied.

-----------------------------------------------

I got a job interview. For 'an exciting career in the optical industry!"

"Do you love Optics?!" the ad said.
"DO I?!" I thought!

Do they even have to ask!? Ive been waiting my whole life!

Needless to say I shot my resume straight through and they reciprocated my optic passion with a quick return call. 'Vivian' (who sounds hot and fun-keey!) says I seem perfect for this 41K a year varied role! And would like see ME! in Person! next Monday!

Oh, I accepted of course. Could I not? Afterall its Optics.

Feeling good vibes off this one.

Edit> I got the role and turned it down, I realized that taking this career would mean living in Sydney for another year, probably more, and I'm itching to get out. Deciding it was time to make a decision I graciously turned it down and adviced the employment consultant of her good looks, to which she was flattered. I then set a date to go to Melbourne. Now I have no choice but to go, and get started with what I really want to do. A new band, a new place.

Thursday, March 15



Sometimes i think about the future
and i swell up with emotion about how exciting it will be, and all the new people i'll meet, and the times i'll travel, and beautiful girls i'll know, and the great sex! and my next girlfriend! Who will she be?! Will she be blonde? or brunette?! what will she be like?! and the eventual kids that will come around and how awesome it will be to find they're coming and freak out, name them, play with them... and the new jobs and crazy music i'll hear, places i'll see and weird experiences i would never expect.

I think about the houses i'll live in, and cool clothes i'll find! And computers! How exciting is the way technology is going! When I was young the net didn't even exist, and now it's about to revolutionize the way people think and interact forever! Even if there's major wars it will be exciting to live in a post apocalyptic world.. and *sighhh* dying will be nice too.

Its like a big mystery box full of mysterious presents that are absolutely guaranteed to come around, and that's *really* exciting.
UGH im SO sick of spilling shit on myself, What the fuck is wrong with me?! no wonder i cant have nice things! I spill coffee and tea on my pants, i lean on the kitchen or bathroom counter and get a stripe of wet on my shirt, i wash my hands and get my long sleeves wet which remain wet for the rest of the day, I have white splotches on my shirt from unnamed substances that have bleached my nice clothes, I have an oil stain on my million dollar shirt and I have no idea where it came from. FUCK. IM SO SICK OF MY POOR MOTOR SKILLS AND ITS NOT EVEN JUST THAT ITS CIRCUMSTANTIAL HOW CAN ANYONE HAVE NICE THINGS?!?!!? FUCK.

EDIT - TALCUM POWDER REMOVES ALL OIL STAINS. IT IS INCREDIBLE! IT JUST SUCKS THEM UP! RUB SOME TALCUM POWDER ON THE STAIN, LET IT SIT, THEN WASH! BAM! LIKE NEW! NO JOKE! LIKE NEW!

Tuesday, March 13



Dear co-worker..

What the fuck do you want from me?


Do you want me to sing YOUR name back?! SHIT its not my fault my name is 'PABLOOOOOO!' You dont have to sing it or yell it or say it out loud like a goddamn moron everytime i walk past! SHIT, its hard enough to not punch you in the face or kick the chair, let alone fucking have to smile through my grimace of disgust as you and all the rest of you feel like patriotically pronouncing my name into the cold air of this four walled jailcell. AND DONT TELL ME TO SMILE. For fucks sake, now you're going to sing my name and then tell me to smile!? What am I your fucking SLAVE? its not enough that im slaving away for our bosses now you want me to slave away at your outlandish whims because you have a thing for my name so you derive some sort of pathetic satisfaction from coaxing a forced expression from me? FUCK OFF>DONT SAY MY NAME>DONT TELL ME TO SMILE

AND NO HI-FIVES EITHER!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 8

So my ears are still reeling from last nights musical tragedy.

I blame this (for the most part) on Sydney's Emergency! Emergency! who did not fail to disappoint in sadistically raping any semblance of common sense or good taste in exchange for image tripping and electro zombeism. That they have recently won a Triple J unearthed competition to play at the Great Escape festival with the likes of Fishbone, further goes to prove to me that we are indeed living in the times of the apocalypse and that the Great Satan is rumbling here, in hell.

Like the destruction of the great library of Alexandria or more recently, the Sumerian tablets in Iraq, E!E! manage to systematically demolish years of human musical evolution and take us back generations into what could be compared to primitives discovering that hitting things equals noise. Now, instead of rocks, they have keyboards.

I doubt the difficulty of pressing play on a sequencer while screaming unintelligible syllables into an innocent microphone, or playing the grand total of three single notes into a delirious and suicidal guitar while a volley of noisy beats assails a band of brainwashed morons.. being all for experimentation, what I took away was, rather than the fulfillment of experiencing something new, but an empty hollowness.. not unlike the feeling of someone who has taken drugs to the point of no return.

Repetitious, uninspired, noisy, image driven, self conscious, abrasive and dull. Mind numbing and depressing. E!E! are all this and more.

I can only hope that soon enough our image obsessed cultures obsession with cheap retro cliches like gameboys and 'vintage' korgs, soon dissipates so that these type of bands can wake up, ashamed and famished, ready to turn over a new page and make ammends for their sins by giving the rest of their life over to feeding the hungry or helping the poor.

I *would* give my sympathies to all attendees for having to endure such horrors, but it is too late, their minds having already been wiped and irrevocably tortured into an electro slash techno slash disco slash slash fever.

Allah have mercy on us all. (What is amazing is that E!E! are actually one of the better bands of this style of music.. the others are too shameful to even mention)

Monday, March 5

Notes for the week.

Living with Jeff and Dennis, broke Denniss's computer, Jeff plays Call Of Duty 2, Non.Stop. My name is 'Consuela' For the week. I am their Mexican Maid.

Resigned from Job, almost, now they're trying to keep me.

Not talking to Megan cuz Megan was a hoe.

Went busking at Martin Place with my CD shirt and Tie as the Corporate Bohemian. Busking for Capitalism. Every person that gave me change I would make a note of it on my laptop and stack the coins.

Finished cleaning house with Sophie, sophie put on her painting overalls and painted the room while we talked about old fashioned values, how everything is a process, a lack of pride in character and the beauty of not being special and being content with what you are.

Went out to see Regurgitator with Austin, Dennis, Pete couldn't get in, it was sold out, and Alix, a hot cool girl who was there who had great cleavage.

Went out for drinks to the Chamber hotel a couple of days later with Dennis, after a job interview, to meet Alix again and her friends, Alix was/is very cool, into music, politics etc. Has allergy to peanuts. We ended up making out, it was a great.

We then went to Oportos and ate it on the gutter by the new moon, haha it was very, trashmantic, we finished at the townie, made out a bit more. She's so pretty! I caught a taxi and she flashed me her boob as I was leaving. Excellent.

My mum got Debbie out of the house after calling the police. The lesson - Dont be nice to psychos.

Theres some lessons this week about pride and dignity above necessity and faith in self before sacrificing beliefs or something. Also about perdurance.

Went shopping today with Sophie, we went to Myers and I bought myself some undies. It was mildly embarrassing. Mens underwear is soo daggy.

Penrith is a hole. People are kinda wrong.

Went to see Call the Medic Call the Nurse at Home nightclub. They were excellent, Dave climbed the amps, Simo stood on the railing and screamed. It was quite good. I wore my flashy Parballe shirt with the chicks hoodie I found in a suitcase under the house and my beanie, I felt smooth.

Dennis gets his motorbike tomorrow.

Jeff is funny. He makes me laugh so much.