08.10.03
Ok so I'm rushing this because I'm on ACW and ill probly get in trouble if I stay in ACW for too long.
What did I do on the weekend.. well I went to rachels on Friday night, I was gonna call Zakairan but it was a bad time for him, ok so yeah didnt call Zak, but I went to a festival that Rachel organized at Katoomba, "Blue Skies Silver Linings" I think it was called, and it went off SOO smoothly, great timing, everyone was there, I met lots of cool ppl, and tho it wasn't mega exciting, it was just simple and peaceful and there were bands and a ceremony and I played harmonica and stole the harmonica, but i didnt mean to!
So yeah after that, back to rachs and hung out with the Katoomba krew, met a dude called Andrew who is fully on the level, he went travelling for a year around south america without knowing any spanish.
I want to travel, for a year or more, by myself, to learn and disxover and stuff, it'd be awesome, but I'm tied to my band, and its frustrating, I don't know what to do, focus on work, focus on band, travel, go see grandparents.. grrrr, I wish I had more money to do all these things. Its like a ticking time bomb...
So yeah, on sunday we went to a festival in Newcastle, it took us like 7 hours to get there, it was me, Rachel, Maurice (cool dood) and nathan (another cool dood). We drove up a nice scenic way, then when we got there we were a day late, so wed missed almost everything, but it was all good, I got a pill and some gunja and went to panthers (in newcastle!?) and gambled with maurice to kill time, then we upstairs to the dance thing and got in for free, it was allrite, but we were on a mission to find Rachel & Nathan and make a bong, after walking around newcastle for over 3 hours in various bong building missions we ended up at this place with all these rappers "battling" and it was hell cool, then we went to another undergroundy kinda place and it had all mad beats going (nathan played) and we painted on the walls and stuff, I was out of it but! Then we took over a couch and kinda stayed there all nite, like if we owned the place. Rachel made me sleep in the corner cuz she was being a rude bitch, haha, its cool, Rachel and I can fully get the shits at each other and know that it means nothing, like we both fully "get" each other.
Anyway, next day, went fishing in a sink for a grater with maurice and Rachel at some cool house with a raggea band, rach stayed behind and us 3 came back home, I got to Kingswood at 8:30 and everyone was there, they went to Newcastle on Saturday had a shitty time. haha! ah well..
I ended up not going to work yesterday cuz I woke up late and I don't wanna make Danny angry , so stayed at home and didnt do much, but that was good.
Today Austin is being a bitch about the band like usual, it shits me, he wants to be big but he isnt willing to risk it all. Ah well.. we'll see how it all works out.


2.10.03
Haha I just read that about the yoghurt, turns out it wasn't me, but there was a bottle full of milk rotting in my drawers, so that's what smelt bad, I had to clean it up, it sucked. Umm.. shit, yesterday I found a website by a guy who calls himself Purple Crow, and wow, it was full on, it was a nice concise look at what is REALLY going on, and well, its crazy and huge, but ive figured that all I can do at this point in time is rock out with the band. Other than that, not much has been happenning.


30.09.03
Sooo.. what's happenned?! well, I had my 21st on the weekend, and it was actually pretty cool, what we did.. well hang on, first off, on Friday, I .. shit I cant remember what I did on Friday! shocker.. Ok well, on Saturday, I hung out at home and Stixx got me some stuff from ikea, a plastic hanging door and a thingie to put things in, and yer.. so anyway it was windy right, and we couldn't fly the plane, so anyway yeah, after a while we all got together and went to a doof in the city but it was in the bush and it was pretty crappy actually, but it was actually pretty good, so yeah hung out there, and made friends with a dog for a while and then I found everyone and they were all in the van, and so yeah, hung out there, but the thing is there was some heavy telepathy shit going on, especially between Rachel, me, allan, Shariff and Megan I think, and it was a bit spun out, I fully felt very odd, anyway we all went and spooned in some public toilets, and then we met a dude called Phil and we hung out with him in the van, and I tried to make enemies with him but he was too nice, then Den got me another pill, I gave half to Rachel, Stixx was talking to an italian chick, so I made him go back and get her number, while we were up at the doof and I was waiting for him, I noticed a girl looking my way, like, fully looking, and when I saw her, she was the most beautiful girl ever, and then i dont know why but I cracked up laughing and left.
The thing about it, is how it felt, it felt like it was a continuation of my previous Saturday, and I dunno, it felt like she symbolized something.. like she was another piece of the puzzle, but maybe I was just on ecstasy and crazy.. but maybe not, maybe she was my sex goddess and I laughed at her and walked away!! :) But yeah.. she made an impact..
After that, we went to Dennis's and I jumped in his pool and had a sauna and that was cool., but cooler still was standing on his verandah, overlooking the whole city and singing "What I Got" to it, and then shouting "Viva La Revolucion!!", it was one of those movie moments, like in a movie.. and then I stared at the sun, and it was odd, like I could fully lose myself in the sun, and Allan stopped me, like he just knew, he came around the corner and said "behave yourself" and the dissappeared.
Yeah, he knows, he just doesnt know he knows and he doesnt need to know, cuz he knows. Spunout.
Then, I was looking at everyone and I could see purple in them, like it was kinda.. I dunno, there, but flowing, in their hands and Dennisses mouth and stuff, and I fully could see it, this purple tinge!
Yeah.. we've been feeling it.. and thoughts are getting way loud! like somehow everyone is aware of what I'm thinking, even if they don't know it, and its much harder to feign interest. could this be the way its going?..
Maybe it is all just in my head, and my imagination is over active, but it's fun, and its magical and its exciting, so if I am crazy and deluded, well at least I'm having fun and still full of young idealism.
Ok, so after Dennises we went back home, crashed for a bit and then went to my mums for my b'day, and again it was pretty cool, Jeff and all and shaz and Austin and Rach and Megs came, and we had some snacks, and Rachel pushed my face into the cake (smeared it and all). My dad got me a guitar, which is like the first good present he's gotten me, and mym got me a bbq grill and some hobby sticks and assorted items! We all danced mexican with my mum! Jeff loved it, actually, everyone did. It was fun.
Then we went home and got stoned.
The next day, which was yesterday.. I was late to work, the day went quick but, then went home, had a band prac and dat, (we have this gigs inside the practice room, like, we practice gigging not playing.. capiche??) and then used "El residente", watched some Tom Green and empire records, then Eilish wanted to sleep in my bed and she was fully being pushy and I had to be full honest and just say "I'm not comfortable in that scenario" , and she said "thank you" and left, which made me think, shit, honesty is the best policy. So yeah.. now its today and I think I smell like rotten yoghurt..


24.09.03
Well ive still been pretty zoney, but its dropping off a bit, hmm, reality, its an odd concept. Yeah.. yesterday Stixx fucked himself up shooting up speed, which is fucked, but he wrote me a big letter giving me permission to sabotage his attempts to take chems again, so he must have had a breakthrough in sanity, so I'm gonna hold him to that.
Umm. yesterday we had a really good practice, Eilish has been coming over a lot, which is cool, but I gotta let her know that I cant like do anything with her again cuz like, I don't wanna hurt her or anything.
Stixx got all weird yesterday too, he was seeing things out the window and a seahorse and shit, and I tripped out over this badass nike ad with an illuminati symbol on it, and i also got heaps sick for like 5 mins i felt like i was going to die! It lasted like 5 minutes and i ended up on the floor, weird shit!



22.09.03
Hi! Well, I had quite an interesting weekend, on Friday I went home and hung out and Rachel came over with a dude called Maurice, who was such an ass that I liked him (he got popcorn everywhere and was a dick about it... it was cool) and some more dudes came over and I think we just got trashed and passed out, the next day, well we slept a lot and just relaxed and did nuthin, then we went to Earthdance, which was a doof in the middle of nowhere, and it was coool, mad surreal lighting and loud beats, yeah I dug. So we got on e-s and man, shit started spining out, I was in a movie, where everything was a metaphor for something much bigger, and I was being tested and passing, and I met this guy, called Shaun, and I swear he was like a messenger, he just knew exactly where I was at, and I knew he knew, and we didnt even have to say it, so we had a talk, and he mentioned what happenned with zoe and case and that it wasn't cool, but not just that, other stuff too, we didnt event talk much, but he "got it", he "knew" and he was there for me, strange, we blessed each other too, and it was like he blessed me from god. I dunno it was just like a full movie thing, I think I couldve hooked up with a chick called kali but because I became too distracted instead of just being in the moment, well I fucked up and I didnt find her cuz I walked around for hours trying to find chocolate covered nerds. The lesson was I reckon , Pablo, don't become preoccupied with getting it cuz its just gonna waste your time and distract you from the real work, and if you want the chick, go for the chick, not for something else, like chocolate nerds, to get you the chick. Anyway yeah, It was a cool night, I reckon Rachel and I are magic, I swear it, and it freaks me out sometimes. Anyway, we met lots of people, and we were generally a nuisance and scabby, but that was our role, we met some Israeli dudes and i dont think they liked us cuz when we met 'em we ran off with their bong and megan had to come get it off us and stuff, it was good. In the morning we were mega scattered, rach and I stayed behind, and then everyone at the doof held hands and made a big circle, and it was a bit gay, but it was nice too and it felt kinda buzzy, (and this dude called shock stood in the middle and shot everyone in a scene that was right out of a movie, i thought it was hell funny) then we half hitchiked home, then we got busted for not having tix but thanks to god, the doors closed in the train right on time, so transit couldn't take us to the cops.
Hmmm.. now I feel odd, its all good, but I just wanna be "there" in the movie, and I get frustrated that in between the excitement I have to do these other mundane things to keep up my existance.
But I am doing it, even when I'm not, it sux, I know it, but at the same time I don't..
Well yeah, that's about it. I dig, I want my life to be more like a movie, it's fun!



18.09.03
Hi today is today, but yesterday was yesterday and I'm writing about that day, not this one.
So what happened yesterday? The usual, got home, played with the organ (its ace) got trashed, and fell asleep, we moved the house around and its much better now. Today is my mums birthday, I have to go wrap presents and stuff. damn.

17.09.03
Hi, well yesterday, I got home and Stixx was there with Jason as always and I had a go at them, specifically him, for breaking in and being a bum and not having a job and that. He told me he was depressed and couldn't hold a job and that pissed me off even more, I went off at him and I think he got the point, that he can't blame other things outside of himself for his circumstances.
Anyways, after that, Austin came over and we all got Smaaaaaaaaaashed, so bad, and my dad came over and I was wasted and I'm sure he knew.. Oh well!
Yeah I fell asleep on the couch, havent done that for a while, good sleep but.


16.09.03
I was in a pretty bad mood yesterday, but I got home, and instead of cleaning, I just lay on the couch with the lights off and some chill music, and I reikid myself, which I don't do much, cuz I'm still not too confident I suppose, but I had a really nice sleep/haze and yeah I felt much better afterwards, then the lads and eilish came round.
Anyways, we had a killer jam, Stixx was rapping sik and I was rokin hard, it was more like a gig, our pracs are like mad killer gigs, with big finales and all, we're quite good at the show thing. Now we need people to watch.
I really spin out about where the music comes from, and after, I feel different, its like when we're really jamming, that's all there is, and when we're finished.. you get this post musical orgasmic buzz which is fine too.
Austin helped me fix my bed, its better now, I like it when Austin gets practical, he likes to build things and do things, like a man. I don't have that really, well I do, but in a different sense, not the Austin nuts and screws way.
Ok well yeah, that's a bout it.


15.09.03
On Friday I went out with Austin and Richard and Clay to Eating World in China town, from there we headed to a number of pubs and proceeded to get pissed, really pissed, I dunno what happenned much, but it was fun, the next day we went to an auction to watch the Kograh studio get auctioned, then Austin and I went shoppin around Newtown for aaagees, I ened up buying a clock so id get to work on time, a red junior wrestler shirt, pants that are too tight, adbusters, a weed growers guide and I think that's it..Newtown is cool, lots of things to look at and do, but Rachel tells me that is use to have much more of a community flavour, where you could just walk down the street and hang with people, whereas now everyone is busy looking cool.
Right, so we went home and I made some mp3 cds at Austins, then we got smashed and went to Hojus. then from Hojus we went back home, and everyone showed up and eylish slept over and then the next day we had a video day and that was cool. Especially cuz Rachel was there and when we get together we get really stupid.
I saw a mad synthesizer in Newtown and I'm going to buy it!