Life is Wonderful

Life is Wonderful..

Not as wonderful as rice pudding.

Now, Germany's nice, but it's really about how much beer you drink.

Time for teaching.

It's only true if it makes you laugh, but you only understand if it makes you cry.

Miracles have no order, or worth, a small miracle is equal to a giant miracle, the miracle of child birth is as important as the miracle of checking out your turd for chunky bits.

Same goes for apparitions, rainbows, unicorns and lentil soup.

Do not be fooled by the ego's miracles. To be caught up in a miracle is to be caught up in the past, to be in love with something that is gone. In itself it is a trap.

Enjoy miracles, enjoy enlightenend experiences, but never loose the truth of the now reality, the truth of Eris, the truth of the SubGenius, the truth of the 8 and the 1.
(Most importantly, the truth of feta cheese)

More pretty lights for the moths. More illusion. More ego delusion. It is all miracles and enlightened experiences are. .

Never whistle while you're pissing. If you do you will be of 'two-mind'. Enjoy the miracle of urination.

For a fun experiment, drink a glass of water while you pee and feel the wholeness and interconnectedness of your whole body.

None of this matters. None of this is NEW.

Wait for others to come out before you go in.

Time for lesson number TWO (Charge is $59.95)

A ZEN STORY
by Camden Benares, The Count of Five, Headmaster, Camp Meeker Cabal

A serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century America confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of resolving within himself the discords that troubled him, but he remained troubled. One night in a coffee house, a self-ordained Zen Master said to him, "go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address which I have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live there; you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night. Go to the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus position on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner, and meditate." He did just as the Zen Master instructed. His meditation was frequently interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the rest of the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor bathroom to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He worried how would he know when the moon rose on the next night. He worried about what the people who walked through the room said about him. His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as if in a test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At that time two people walked into the room. The first asked the second who the man was sitting there was.
The second replied "Some say he is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."
Hearing this, the man was enlightened.

vomit is yum