Steve drunk too much and it mixed with his medication on the night he did his unsexy strip show (an incredible drunken show, a pinnacle of his career, I was in pain from laughing), well it was a bad mix, he went crazy, had a really bad three day trip and has subsequently quit alcohol.

This is big news considering I have never known him to go for longer than an hour without alcohol. Yet here we are four days later and he hasn't had a drop.

Instead we've been playing Dragon Quest 8 (amazing game), listening to the Black Lips and playing soccer. We're both broke so we're living off noodles and bread. Or we would be rather, had the rats not stolen all of our bread! A whole loaf! It's us or them now!

Last night they stole our parmesan cheese so I followed the parmesan trail to the giant hole they've bitten through our floor.

This.is.war.

Ratwar.

I have gone out and bought three rat traps, read up on rat psychology, we're getting rid of their food supply, I've borrowed a cat, downloaded war music which I will pump into their rathole... Game over ratties, game over.