To Andrew.

"SO btw, coincidentally enough, i met god again last night, it was one of those magic moments that dont happen too often.

Well me and two friends went to watch a movie last night, on our way out we couldnt find the car, we walked around for 40 minutes from carpark to carpark looking for it! I was with Megan and Allan.

Allan is like the archetype of the eternal friend who is always there to carry your back but doesnt get caught up in the shit, in a way he's the real hero, kinda like a Sam from Lord of the rings, and Megan is my polar opposite other half, soul sister, girl i love and hate in equal and extreme measures, who teases that one day she will marry me even tho im equally petrified and elated by the prospect. So thats the characters introduced.

Allan was ahead of us, we were going up one of the carpark ramps, it was about 11 pm, no one around walking and looking for this missing car going up a ramp and this decrepid stringy, grey haired old woman is on her way down, pushing a trolley full of junk and picking at her eye which seemed to have conjunctivitis. I was ready to walk right past but Megan stopped to ask the old woman if she was allright, so the woman tells her.

"I have this infection, i think im getting attacked by other entities, I dont know why this is"
and megan says ..

"You think other people are cursing you? You dont worry about that, you need to have faith in yourself and nothing will get you" the woman replies..

"Hmm you think so, but theres so many people, who have faith in themselves, and bad things still happen.. I dont know, we came from this primordial soup, but if you look at it, we are the evolution of these simple processes, but they werent simple at all, they were complicated, and each speck of original primal matter was as varied and as awake and as complicated as we are today.. we think we are the top of the ladder.. but we are the same.. and we cant believe in only ourselves, in this world, where our ego takes over, and its such a perfectionist, getting it right getting it right, and we believe in ourselves as number one and we still dont end up where were aiming.. thats why I believe in something bigger, I have to believe in a god over myself, a creator? who knows.. but these madmen, ruling the world, they only have faith in themselves, and nothing more, and they are addicted.. oh but im just an old woman, and my eye is infected.. and I cant see.."

At this point, im paying attention, Allan keeps looking for the car.

Megan replies "No, i think you need to believe in yourself and youre ok, like, you are god, youre your own god man, so just have faith in yourself" (to this i roll my eyes.. megan is a bit funny, she pretends to have all the answers but she doesnt really know experientally that simple answers like these are not so useful) .. then i realize that this woman is special.. so i look up at her eyes, and we make eye contact, and her eyes are pure man, soo pure, a window to another world, just bright, clear, pure grey/blue infinite eyes. And she looks at me and they flash (i see the flashes sometimes), they flash like a dogs or a cats can, like a window to the infinite.. she says "What's your name?"And i say "Pablo", and she asks Megans name, and then she says "Thank you, i'll remember this, you know, that there are people like you who will take the time and care, and im thankful, you know, we're all in this together, so i'll feel better, maybe it will help me get better with this eye"

I told her to put some tea on it, and that we had to go.. her eyes flashed at me again, and she said "I know, we all have to go at some point, I thank you".. mind you, she wasnt speaking like completely steady, or with authority, her voice was shaky, but those eyes....

She says "You are always with god, jesus is always with you, bless you" and walked away..
We go back to look for the car and i realize that we'd only gotten lost to find that woman, and the she was there for us, not the other way around, she was helping us.

So im like "Megan, do you know what just happenned?"

And she's like "Yeah, remind me never to ask someone if theyre ok again"

And im like "What!? Did you miss that?! did you see her eyes? did you hear what she said? We just had a meeting with the divine"

And Megan was like "Ok yeah man whatever, i wasnt really listening to her ey"

"Fuck!! see, you had all these answers" I reply.. "But she didnt want answers, she wanted to share, that there are no answers, that we're on it, wow, her eyes flashed"

Megan is like 'Man i cant talk about God hey, i tune out, like pfft, we are our only god, fuckit"

And i reply "ARGH! You totally missed it! FUCK, how can you not SEE it?!"

Megan got pissed off "Sorry im not on Your level Pablo you mystic, pfft" and walked off.

So It stayed in my mind, I couldnt stop thinking about it, or that the other guys missed it, it occurred to me that God doesnt come looking nice and clean.. that its the devil, whatever the devil may be, who comes in a suit and tie and is charming, but god, god comes as the leper or beggar on the street, asking for help, and doesnt -give- you an answer, he alludes to it so you will find it yourself.

We split up, and finally Al found the car, we got in, I didnt bring it up again, and as we turn the corner out to the street, the woman was there, like an omen, and we drove off.

I realized, if that was a test, we'd both failed.

I failed because i didnt stop to offer help, and Megan failed because she didnt 'get' it.

But together, we passed.

Combined, we stopped, and got it. But only together did we pass the test. It seemed like a nice metaphor/lesson/parable/something.

When i explained this to megan later on, back at home, after id let go of my anger and my ego of having 'gotten it', tears came down her face but she wasnt crying, they just came out, i told her she was the only girl that makes me angry enough that im scared i could bash her. I didnt know if that was a compliment or not. But we went to sleep in each others arms.
...

Thats my overlong story of last night, its been my only brush with magic in the last four months so i thought it was special.

- Pablo