A Broken Ankle For My Birthday
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me: guess who broke their angle and cant walk for two months

Pickle: WHO? not you

me: i did :(

Pickle: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK skating???

me: i spent all my birthday in hospital yeah skating

Pickle: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAY have you had a laugh yet?

me: at a local school, trying to do a trick landed on the bitch and CRACK

Pickle: OUCH did it hurt?

me: "its just a rolled ankle " nick sez as i roll and cry and scream

Pickle: you poor cunt

me: ive never felt so much pain

Pickle: ow!!!! awwww, my sympathys I'd better make that fudge now time off work?

me: it gets better.. no one could take me to the hospital the next day

Pickle: PS... you know I was GOING to do the dishes but I ran out of time.

me: so i had to wait for jemma to get home ( i couldnt even move, get water, or go to the toilet)

Pickle: incidently. FUCK

me: "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" lemme finish..

Pickle: long is the way and hard that out of hell leads up to light sorry go on

me: oh ok SO.. I had to catch a cab on my own to the hospita;l cab dropped me off in the wrong spot had to hobble, fall and crawl in sydney city streets to the hospital

Pickle: awww

me: till a man took pity on me and got me a wheelchair and pushed me then waited for four hours and they told me, "you've got a severe spiral fracture" blah blah blah nurses were hot too tho rather put a temp cast on me but my pants couldnt fit over it and no one could drop me off some pants so i had to walk out onto the street wearing a hospital gown and my boxer shorts with my ass showing i was so hungry i went to maccas anyway

Pickle: ha !!! thats cute ha

me: with people staring.. then caught a cab back home, it was so shit

Pickle: sorry

me: shit then my mum dropped by, she got her boyfriend to bring her, she thre a halkf hour whirlwind party7:38 PM she ran in, put on birthday music, handed poppers to everyone, threw streamers, sung happy birthday, pulled out a cake, added candles, got me to make a wish, gave me a present, made everyone pose for a photo, danced with megan, then said 'alas, i have to leave you now, i know its sad' and left all in 20 - 30 minutes, best speed party ever.. a pretty memorable if uncomfortable 24th then

Pickle: aww your mums funny well then happy birthday?? is it? memorable is good. well then. YOu fucked up. I'm sorry for your pain I wish it was me and I could take the cruel blows of reality on your behalf

and you could ride out into the world and take it on for both of us but alas...

you are crippled

And I am a free man