I like to believe things.

I'm a believer. I want to believe. Believing is fun.

I believe in aliens, I believe in scientists, I like to believe in the unbelievable and the believable. When I watch a movie, I believe it. In 'They Live', I believe that free trade robot aliens really are subliminally running the world as a form of human farm. I like to believe when I watch documentaries on string theory that there is a unification theory about to be found and that the universe can be wrapped up with an elegant equation. I believe in everything entirely while I see it and then I later make up my own mind on what I want to believe when it suits me or increase the factor of practicality, mystery, and fun in my life.

Where does that leave me?

Confused? Anxious? Detached? Excited? Empowered? Free?..

All of the above.

Its the way I live and it works for me, it doesn't work for everyone. But by keeping an open mind, letting everything in, and sifting through it afterwards to keep the stuff that works, I feel i have a good map and picture of life.

Confusing, paradoxical, and overwhelming. Certainly.

This is why I am confident it is an accurate map of reality. Because it mirrors it.

------------------------------------




Today is the darkest I've ever seen Sydney city. It's like Gotham. Dark. Black. Pitch Black.

Misery, eerie, its the matrix. Ive had experiences that have paralleled the matrix, scenes played out in real life, on spots the film was filmed. That's why I've always had a feeling that the Matrix is more than a metaphor, more than a movie.

(I also believe in coincidences, synchronicities, signs and revelations. Because I believe in them, they make themselves shown.)

Ive always paralleled Sydney to the 'Dark City'.. a dark business city, of business and suits, dark blue, black, march, stairs, march.. I've always felt it could be a 'Node'.

This is a large reason for my leaving, the frequency, the vibe, it's too much for me, I can't deflect it. It brings me down to its level until I believe I am what I feel..

Today is the darkest day in Sydney I have ever seen.

The Matrix was filmed in this city. Dark City as well. I just looked it up..

"The visual aesthetic of Dark City resembles the shadowy, labyrinthine and crime-ridden 'Gotham' types of cities characterized in Batman and other DC Comics, a night-time world of streetlamps, skyscrapers, alleyways, seedy hotels and dimly-lit hallways, all imbued with a 1920s atmosphere and decor.

Many of the outdoor scenes in Dark City were filmed in Sydney, Australia"

I believe art parallels reality.. This is what I sense and this is why I'm getting out.

Some thrive in this cyberpunk nightmare to be, but I am left cold and deadened. Today is my goodbye.

--------------------------------

It's funny, I looked up 'Dark City' in Wikipedia.

Music - Pablo Ruiz.

Main Character - John Murdoch.

My name - Pablo Murdoch. Leaving Sydney to make Music in Melbourne. ;)


"something appears to be wrong with the world at large: time, memory, and identity behave in unusual ways."