This is what happens when a joke goes way WAY too far.

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From : Stephen Bowers
To: djordan, me, Allan, den, Steve, Sean, Sarah, Jeff, Megan, Melanie, Jonathan, simo, adam, Sophie, Stephen, Nicholas

Well, I started my first day of TAFE today. I've had one class already and now I'm on a 2 and a half hour lunch break.

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.
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From: Pablo

I've heard about that quick brown fox, and i am disappointed about its lack of respect for the lazy dog.
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From : Jeff Ozog

Maybe if the dog wasn't so lazy, the quick brown fox wouldn't be jumping over it...

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From: Pablo

Maybe the dog is misunderstood and what we take as laziness may be meditating?

I don't think we're being given enough of a background here to create a proper context in which to judge the actions of either the quick brown fox, or the lazy dog.
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From : Sophie

maybe the dog challenged the fox to jump over him?
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From: Djordan

Maybe the fox was trying to encourage the dog into activity?
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From: Pablo

I propose an investigative task force with the objective of getting a greater insight into the controversy that is the (reportedly) quick brown fox, and its intrepid jump over what we can only currently (with our limited information) call the 'lazy' dog.
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From: Jeff Ozog

I volunteer myself to go undercover at the local pound and get to know both parties involved to better understand their motives.
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From: Djordan

Hang on.

I believe something was missed here.

The adjective used to describe the dog was 'lazy'

Therefore if the dog was not lazy then he would not be the dog the quick brown fox jumped over referred to in the first place.

The facts are undeniable. The dog is is lazy.
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From: Djordan

Also, the same logic applies to the fox being quick.
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From: Jeff Ozog

But that could all just be the perception of the person who made the statement. The underlying point in this investigation is to ensure there was no bias in the statement, and that neither the dog, nor the fox, are being misrepresented
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From: Pablo

I have to agree with Jeff on this one, we have no credentials from the purported spectator of this situation. I am hardly going to trust an 'Anonymous' when it comes to important matters regarding what could be a quick brown fox and a mysteriously lazy dog.

This statement has had no oversight and has been arbitrarily taught to millions across the world without a shred of evidence to prove that the statement is indeed as it claims to be in its tone alone, a fact.
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From: Pablo

Or maybe, just maybe, we're looking too far into it. But I refuse to accept this possibility as already too many resources have been allocated in the search for the truth.
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From: Jeff Ozog

I'm with Pablo on this, we have now invested too much time and typed too many multi-sylabled words, constructed in complex and thought provoking sentences, to back out of this now... think about the public backlash should we fail to produce any valid conclusions after all the publicity surrounding this matter.
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From: Djordan

I disagree.

This statement is anchored in reality only in the situation in which the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Were there to be a situation in which a dog was not lazy or a fox not brown or quick or a fox didn't jump over the aforementioned dog then without doubt this is not a situation which the statement indicates.

QED

The fox is brown
The fox is quick
The dog is lazy
The fox jumps over the dog.
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From: Megan M

So *BLANK* is ready to move on i guess.. i cant deal with this at all. i really can't. imagine how he felt. if he doesnt love me because i've made some mistakes though.. i'm through with people abandoning me when shit gets too hard for them. they can all fuck off. The world is full of people with no guts. he says he "tried and got nowhere so it couldnt work"
here i am making an effort to improve myself and in turn our relationship. I guess he did get somewhere didnt he?
not that he'd care to notice. i've apparently fucked up enough so to not deserve love.

i'm so depressed

i wish i had the guts to stab myself in the back of my throat.
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From: Pablo

Megan, tho I appreciate your sentiments.. I fail to see how they have any relation to the quick brown fox and/or the lazy dog. Unless of course your message is in code.
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From: Jeff Ozog

Dennis, you may choose not to partake in the investigation if you so choose... You seem willing to take this statement for its face value without even questioning its motives, source, or reliability. For all you know this could have been released by a radical Pro-Fox, Anti-Dog group trying to create a stereo type of foxes as 'quick' and dogs as lazy... When taking the fact the person who originally made this statement is anonymous, i can only assume the worst. I smell a rat.
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From: Djordan

Perhaps i am trying to lead you away from an investigation which will lead you in a direction you do not want to go.

The phrase was created for a specific purpose.

The end you seek would not be too dissimilar to trying to find the other two parts to a Ford Festiva Trio.

You may be led to a landfill but would you be fulfilled by this end?

It is not the meaning but the content which is important in this case.
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From: Pablo

Rumor has it that the sentence we are so intent on demystifying in fact includes every single letter in the western alphabet within it. Now, I have not done a full report on this as yet, but I do believe that this may come in useful at some future point.

We could be dealing with an expert cryptographer employing some type alphabetic binary code in order to tell us a secret bigger than life itself!
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From: Jeff Ozog

Interesting, progress so far...

As part of my character breakdown, i am led to conclude that Dennis, is in fact part of the Pro-Fox/Anti-Dog radical group i previously mentioned...

Perhaps i am trying to lead you away from an investigation which will lead you in a direction you do not want to go.

This sounds like a thinly veiled threat trying to discourage us from pursuing the truth! Out with it Dennis, what are your relations with the Fox... how much did he pay you!
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From: Djordan

So, so simple.

I have no need of threats.

It is a warning.

Do you really think that scratching this surface will really reveal what you are looking for?

You'll drown before you see deep enough!

Fools!!!
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From: Jeff Ozog

Dammit! How many more Fox lovers are there in our midst... Pablo - I think we have bitten off more than we can chew... but i refuse to bow down to threats by pro fox terror cells! I will uncover the truth even if it kills me!
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From: Pablo

No.Jeff.We.Must.Not.Continue.

The.Truth.Is.What.The.Fox.Did.

I.Am.Happy.Now.
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From: Jeff Ozog

Nooooooo!!!!

You will not silence me!!! The dog must be given the justice which he deserves! You set him up, and now you've gotten to pablo as well!!! Who's next, the Cats? Rabbit? or even the humble Goldfish!

I will not let your corruption get in the way of animal justice!
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From: Jeff Ozog

I'm off kids...

Tomorrow on the slacker mail...

Jeff and Pablo try to investigate whether Peter Piper did indeed pick a peck of pickled peppers, Dennis, tries to prove that a woodchuck does chuck as much wood as a woodchuck chucks... and also a special report on who sell sea shells by the sea shore, and whether doing so is in fact ruining our marine environments by removing the shells in which the hermit crabs rely on so heavily for accomodation...

Stay tuned!
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From: Pablo

I'm looking forward to tomorrow!