Pablo's Cycles -



Of course we all have cycles, we all know that. But how specific are they? I've noticed recurring motifs in my life, same situations, characters, etc, and I think its time i start collating them in order to figure out the positive cycles, the negative cycles, those that i can learn from and those i need to outgrow.



1 - Job Cycle



This is clearly related to old School Cycle residue and goes something like this:



Unemployment - excitement

Unemployment - depression

Search - excitement

Search - depression

Find Job - Not a good job. Leave.

Find Job - uber excitement, golden future, great situation, new potentials, money, joy.

Disappointment - Slowly less caring, people at work become mean, job starts wearing me down.

Boss - Becomes patronizing and I get flaky.

Friend - A girl becomes friends with me inside the work place, we have an understanding that no one else in there does. Keeps me sane and also fans my us vs them workplace sentiments.

Desperation - I continue disliking my job, situations conspire to make me tired and late to work, life becomes a box, I become a cog, I start finding reasons for leaving, and become aware that I have been getting ripped off / short end of the stick for some time.

Decision - Decision to quit is made, however this takes up to 3 months to enact due to perceived beliefs of what is right, wanting to leave good impression or environmental factors.

Back to the beginning.

(Note to self - Jobs tend to offer big dreams when i first embark on them. A) Salesman "Im going to be a huge salesman!" - lie , Charity "Im going to help people!" - corrupt, GE "Im going to work for a real company!" Empty, Fairfax "Im going to be in advertising!" Bad Boss, Lame Work, Virgin "Im going to work at the coolest company ever!" Worst Company Ever, More Corporate Than Most, Soul Destroying, Import Company "Im going to be an Importer and grow with a business!!" Getting Ripped Off, Not Fun, Too Much Work. Could it be that these failures arent failures at all but showing me where my place isnt. A - La - No Pablo you dont want to be an import business man, you just like the idea of it. Next Dream. - Something to think about Perhaps?)

Recurring Situations -

I take too long to quit.

I become bitter and tired and ugly.

I dont put in enough effort, yet I actually do put in a lot of effort to just stay there in the first place so not sure where this one lies.

Headfreeze and City Sickness.

FAILURE CYCLE - Interesting Fact : I always enter a new job heralded as the capable new guy, savior, likeable and hard working with a few overlooked fuck ups. Second in command, Manager places emphasis on me. This cycle, i can first remember is linked to me being in the Boy Scouts and choses and sub-seisenero.. im not sure of the translation, but basically i was second in command in the 6 man group. As second in comand i walked in the back, in time however, i didnt pull my weight, its like, im capable and they can see that but not willing to put in the work. After time i was removed of the title and someone else put in place. My friend Julian. Who went on to become Seisenero (no.1 in his brigade)

2. Uncle Protector Man

Recurring Personality. Favorite Being.

Friend who entertains, protects and works as accomplice/confidante. Usually big, bearded, and bigger than life. Re-creation of Uncle from youth, father figure. Usually named Steve. Lasts forever. Creative type genius who either cant get act together or gives in to system. Has a fault. Is amazing.


3 . Girlfriend -

I don't believe I have an established girlfriend cycle.

4 - Life Cycle

Slow beginnings, sheepish and small, in a new world with lots of people who are loving but i do not know. Fear of one or two. Slowly and in time gel people together and create a space for all to become family. A beautiful family is created of which I am in some way the glue or centre. Not in an awesome way like the most active or interesting member, tho I am awesome, but more in a protagonist manner such as Sal Paradise or Frodo. The observer, writer, and also centre of attention in some odd way. In time I leave due to a number of factors. 1. Bored. 2. Become jaded, familiarity contempt. 3. Get Yanked away. Leave amazing world. Repear.



More Coming.